Double or Nothing: Take the Money & Run
by Hedgehogmadhatter
Summary: Kagome's broke & becomes a bounty hunter. 1st job, find good cop gone bad exboyfriend Inuyasha. Stephanie Plumisque fun! R&R INUYASHA IN THE STYLE OF JANET EVANOVICH
1. Plum Broke

_Double or Nothing: Take the Money & Run_

_This is a play on Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series but not a crossover. Alt universe. Kagome/Inu ,Kagome/Koga._

_Kagome's life is in shambles. She just lost another temp job, she's about to be evicted from her crappy studio apartment and the only food left in her kitchen is hedgehog kibble and it's starting to appeal to her. Out of desperation for adventure and money (but mostly money) she signs on as a bounty hunter in training. Her first assignment, the one she has to get right in order to get paid and keep this job, locate and capture her old high school flame Inuyasha. He's an ex-cop on the bad side of the law and on the run. So who knows what will happen but everyone who has read an Evanovich book already knows that Kagome's car is probably going to get blown up. Allot._

_Disclaimer: I own no part of the Plum series or Inuyasha 'cause if I did I would have better things to do than write this. Well actually I do have better things to do but here I am anyway. shrugs_

_Chapter One: Plum Broke

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_

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Reading, Pennsylvania USA 2005:

Kagome stood on Fifth Street outside the tiny dilapidated, brick building. The awning was falling down and weeds grew where there used to be flowers. This was it. Shikon Bail & Bonds was run by her half uncle Myoga. He was gruff, rude and all around foul but he needed a secretary and to be blunt she needed a paycheck.

She could barely see through the grime that had accumulated on the glass door over the twenty years Myoga had run the bonds business. _This is a new low. There has got to be something else, a job I haven't tried or a want ad I've just plain overlooked_.

Kagome opened her purse and pulled out the eviction notice she found on her door earlier that morning.

_Ms. Higurashi, we regret to inform you that your rent is eight weeks past due. You have one week to remit the amount of $1000, which is only part of what you owe, or we will be forced to drill your locks and evict you. Have a nice day._

_Management._

She sighed and shoved the paper back into her purse. _Myoga's my uncle, maybe he'll hire me and give me an advance. I can always try to blackmail him. I did see him leaning out of his car talking to that woman he told his wife he doesn't see anymore…_

Blackmail. It was an ugly word and even lower than being so desperate that she was here to beg Myoga for a job. But then at this point what did she have to lose? Her apartment was bare. She could see the spots on the carpet where her furniture had sat before she was forced to sell it. She'd asked Bartleby her pet hedgehog to get a job but so far he was holding out on her.

One more week and Kagome and Bartles would be living out of her '85 Mazda 323. That thought was all the motivation she needed to push open the door.

The tiny office was only slightly less filthy then the outside of the building. There were two desks and Myoga sat at one with his feet propped up on the desktop. A cigarette dangled between his fat lips and he frowned upon recognizing her.

"What are ya doing here girlie? Does your mom want me to come round for Sunday dinner?" He spat as he spoke.

Kagome coughed and squinted at him through the cloud of unfiltered cigarette smoke. "No, I heard you needed someone to do the filing." She looked down at her last pair of good shoes. "And I really need a job."

He smirked. "The telemarketer business didn't work out for ya then?"

She shook her head. "No we were laid off after they were sued for unethical credit card practices."

He clicked his tongue. "That is so sad. But I've already found a file gal." The office was empty.

Kagome looked around, "Then where is she?"

He grinned, "Out getting my lunch. Her name's Kagura and I hired her this morning."

Kagome sighed, "She was wearing a short skirt wasn't she?" As if she really had to ask.

He cackled, "The shortest. And she's feisty. She's only worked here four hours and she's already told me to go to hell six times. But I think I'm wearing her down." He pulled up his cigarette and smacked his lips for emphasis.

_I should have known. _Kagome replied sarcastically, "Yeah well good luck with that." She turned to leave but paused. "Are you sure there isn't any other jobs around here I could do? I hate to ask but…" Unemployment was no longer an option and neither was her dignity.

He gestured with his thumb to a bulletin board that over flowed with outstanding warrants and bond notices. "My regular guy is out, he's laid out in the hospital on his back with three broken ribs, a busted arm and ripped spleen. How the hell do you rip your spleen for Christ sakes! Anyway Koga's my main man but he's not helping me this week and I need someone to pick up the slack." Myoga gave a wicked grin and looked pointedly at her tight sweater.

Kagome pulled her jacket shut over her sweater. _You're my freaking uncle, Jeezus!_

He continued unfettered "But you don't seem the type for bounty work so I guess I'll just have to disappoint ya today."

Kagome was thoughtful. "How much do you bring in on a capture?"

"Ten percent of the bond, I've got this one guy, he's an ex-cop and red hot. His bond is $100K big ones. So whoever nabs him will earn a sweet $10,000."

Kagome's desperation surfaced and the thought of ten thousand dollars was just too much to pass up. She could pay her rent; then get her TV, VCR and vacuum cleaner out of pawn. Hell she could have the radio in the Mazda fixed and a savings account. All her problems would be solved.

"I'll get him for you. Who is it?"

Myoga's jaw dropped and his eyes filled with absolute fear. "Kagome honey, your mama would kill me. I was only kidding. I'm sure I can find ya something else. I heard Vinnie down the street needs a girl to pose on his car for the calendar shoot next week…"

Kagome bit her lip and strengthened her resolve. "I need money now, next week is too late. Besides Vinnie is a perv."

"Ya can't do this. I won't let ya. I've got a reputation in this family to protect."

"Why can't I? Because I'm a woman?"

Myoga chocked on his own smoke. "Partly but mostly cause you'll be killed."

She cocked her head and swung her long hair over her shoulder. "So what you're saying is…no."

"Make that a hell no!"

"Okay, fair enough. Does Shika know you've been seeing that blonde bimbo again?" Kagome studied her purse casually as she spoke. "I was under the impression you promised Shika you wouldn't cheat anymore, something about this is your last chance before she ruins you in divorce court." It was a well known fact that Shika would take him for every thin dime if they ever hit divorce court. That and Myoga actually like his wife, though sometimes it was hard to tell.

Myoga nearly swallowed his own tongue. "Kagome you're a good girl. You'd never do that to me!'

She leaned over the short man's desk and pressed her index finger into the top of his prematurely balding head. "Uncle I need money and if I don't get it then I have to move back in with my parents and Grandma Kaede. I'm 27 and you know my mom. It wouldn't be pretty. Give me the job."

He stood up and shook his arms. "Fine, whatever be that way. But don't blame me when you end up dead." One way or the other this girl was gonna be the death of him.

Kagome smiled. Sweet mother victory was hers. "Great! So who is this $100K guy anyway?"

Myoga's manner turned all business and he pulled a flyer from the board. His shoes were thinner than cardboard and squeaked as he walked.

"He was a good cop till last month. He shot another cop and the guy died, there were witnesses and everything. Looks like he might have been involved in a drug ring or something but the funny thing is he was clean. They took a hair sample and he had no traces of any illegal substances. Fact is had he just sat tight at home like I told him, then he would've gone to trial and probably been let off on a technicality. But no, our boy behaves himself for one week then makes a break for it. The system really hates a cop killer, even if the guy was a cop himself. I've got to get him back or my name is m-u-d." He pressed out his cigarette on his desk and paused to light the next one.

Kagome was taken aback. This might be harder than she first thought. _But who cares cause I need the money._ "Okay so who is it?"

Myoga pushed the flier across the desk and she instantly recognized the picture. The man in the black and white photo wore an indifferent, kiss my ass expression on his lips. His hair was long despite the police dress code and two perky dog ears protruded from the top of his head.

"He's a hanyou which only makes him more dangerous. Are you sure you're up to the challenge?"

Kagome held the picture up. "I'll do whatever it takes."

_Inuyasha._ Kagome shrugged as she read his stats.

She folded the paper and stuffed it into her purse. "So do I get a gun now or what?"

Myoga reached under his desk and produced a bottle of Pepto Bismol. He unscrewed the cap, lifted the pink bottle up and drank deeply. The chalky pink taste was oddly soothing. "I guess so, but gimme a moment first."

He sat the bottle on his desk and grabbed the phone. He hit speed dial.

"Hey man its Myoga."

Kagome didn't hear a response from the other end but his crestfallen expression indicated the person on the other end of the line was not happy.

"Yeah, yeah I know. No more jobs until _that _is settled. But Koga I need ya for something else."

"Look man, I know I left your ass in that Myrtle Beach jail cell last month and I'm still very sorry. I thought your concealed weapon permit was still valid."

Myoga paled and began to drum his fingers on the desktop.

"It's cool I promise I'll make it up to ya somehow. I just got me a new gal and I need you to take her out and show her the ropes."

"No she's not doing the files she here for the bounty…Whatcha talking about, of course she is. She's _my_ niece after all."

"Really? Then five pm at Rogers it is. She'll be there. And thanks man, I owe ya one."

"Okay I owe ya another one." Myoga disconnected then slammed the phone down on its receiver. He sighed, "He's gonna give me an ulcer."

"So? What's up?" Kagome shifted her weight from one foot to the other knowing she'd already won.

"Koga that what's going on." He stuck a thick finger in her face. "I can't give you a weapon when I know you can't shoot. He's gonna meet you at Rogers Gallery's Shooting Range out on Perkiomen Ave to teach you some basic techniques. Don't be late."

Kagome nodded. "I won't"

Myoga walked to the closet and pulled out beaten up old box. "You're gonna need a few other things too." He tossed her a pair of handcuffs complete with key and a huge can of pepper spray."

Kagome held up the cuffs. _Nifty!_

"Kagome…I'm begging ya here. Don't go after Inuyasha till after you've met with Koga. He's the best in the business and his advice just might save your ass." His black beady eyes were sincere but then he was still probably more worried about his own ass than hers.

"Okay…but don't I get a badge or something?"

He rolled his eyes and pulled out a form and scribbled on it.

"Here this proves you are legally a bounty hunter. Now track him down but don't forget, don't confront him until after you've met with Koga or ya'll get yourself killed."

* * *

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Kagome left the office and strode to her car filled with a new found sense of purpose. She already loved her new job. Not only would she be able to make her own hours, she could get some fast cash too. The parking meter was expired, well to be perfectly honest it had been expired when she parked the car and now a crisp white ticket lay across her windshield. _Just perfect._

Kagome added the ticket to the growing collection in her glove box and let her mind wander to more interesting topics.

_Inuyasha…_This was going to be a cake walk and boy did she love cake. Kagome knew Inuyasha… intimately. He grew up only a few streets down from her in the slightly run down historic district of Reading. She remembered watching him and his dangerous half brother Sesshomaru race their cars down her street late at night after the cops stopped answering calls.

One day during the later part of her senior year in high school Inuyasha showed up at her house asking to use the phone. Kagome knew better than to let him in but those golden eyes and sexy confident swagger of his won her over and she opened the door.

It started with a phone call and ended with stealing some of her father's precious Yuengling lager. They sat behind her garage and drank the dark forbidden beer. Kagome didn't like it but was impressed that Inuyasha seemed experienced with such things.

Talking soon led to kissing. Kissing led to a wonderful groping session. Eventually, he got his hand up her skirt and forever changed her view of the world. Afterwards he acted as though she never existed and Kagome was reminded of every paranoid warning her mother had given about 'those horrible, good for nothing' Inu boys

Six months later while she was still grieving the loss of her virginity and her dignity, Inuyasha had the unfortunate luck to step in front of her moving car. Kagome hit the gas petal and bounced him off the front hood of her mother's old sedan. He flew over the hood and landed bruised but alive on the pavement.

Lucky for her, the last thing he needed was to be found by the police as he was already on their watch list. Saved by his hanyou reflexes he stood up to curse her and then when he recognized who she was he turned and fled across Penn Ave. Somehow she wasn't surprised that none of the bystanders had bothered reporting the incident. Vinnie repaired the dent and her mother never found out.

So it stood to reason if he was so easily hit once that catching him now shouldn't be a big deal. Of course he did do a complete U turn in his life and graduated from the police academy. But can a Hanyou really change his stripes? Not likely.


	2. Dangerous Liaisons

_Chapter Two: Dangerous Liaisons _

Kagome really wanted to follow Myoga's advice but as she saw it she had one week to get the bounty or she'd be homeless and on her parent's couch.

Her uncle, who was cynical and not too big on personal hygiene, could be completely wrong. She might well bring Inuyasha in without firing one shot. Even if she failed it wouldn't hurt to do some investigating and surly she didn't need a gun for that. After all she did have the handcuffs and her car which had already proven once to be an effective weapon.

Kagome checked her Mickey Mouse watch. She didn't meet Koga until five and the cartoon gloved hands pointed out it was only one in the afternoon. That left her with four long empty hours to fill and since she'd pawned her TV set last week, then what was a girl to do?

She sat in her car mulling over the possibilities. _First things first, if I were on the lam I wouldn't leave without telling my folks were I was heading. I should check out his old family home. Maybe his mom's home._

_----_

Years ago when Inuyasha was a toddler and Sesshomaru was in grade school their Father Inutaisho was killed in a motorcycle accident. It was a brutal death and many speculated it wasn't a mere accident.

Inutaisho was rumored to be the head of a major crime family and while this was never proven his funeral attendance was so large, the funeral director was forced to wheel TV sets out into the parking lot to accommodate all the guests.

The funny thing was if it were true than the Inu boys should've been rich. But they weren't. Left to their own devices by a disinterested step mother they were lucky to make ends meet. They scrounged by on food stamps, church charity and shop lifting. So the big mystery of the Reading area was where did the money go? Off shore bank accounts, trust funds or was it just plain stolen? One thing was for sure, the money hadn't been invested in a nice home.

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Kagome pulled up and paralleled parked her puttering and smoking car in front of the brick townhouse. It was an end unit and a long, dark alley separated it from the apartment complex next door.

About fifty years ago the building was a large convalescent's home but it had since been broken up into twenty stuffy apartments. Broken beer bottles, cigarette butts and Tasty Kake wrappers littered the sidewalk between the two buildings. The body of a dead bull dog lay slumped against the brick wall of the alley. Kagome's heart went out to him until he lifted his head and gave a half hearted growl at a passing pedestrian.

_This is the place! _She opened the car door and headed up the walk to the cracked concrete stoop. Kagome pressed the door bell and wasn't surprised when nothing happened. _Of course it's like everything else in the Inu home. Broken. _The Bull Dog barked but decided she wasn't worth the energy it would take to hassle her and went back to his nap.

She rapped her fist sharply on the door then tried peering through the window but the iron bars inside the frame blocked her view of the interior. An old love seat with a loud rose pattern sat under the window. It was wet and Kagome was reluctant to stand on it in an attempt to get a better view inside.

Kagome sighed and knocked again even louder. _Come on, I know someone's home the freaking lights are on!_ She ground her heel into the worn welcome mat then leaned down and pressed her ear to the black lacquer paint of the door. Loud rock music…_Guns N Roses...?_ blared from inside. _No wonder they can't me knocking!_

The door swung open before she could lift her head and Kagome was busted with her ear to the door. Embarrassment flooded her face as she straightened up to see who'd answered. The Gun's N Rose's song Mr. Brownstone blasted from the speakers in the tiny living room.

Sesshomaru leaned against the door frame studying her with the same attention a wolf might give a cricket, interesting but almost not worth his precious time. He was shirtless and Kagome fought to keep her eyes on his face but they kept drifting down to his thin yet nicely defined pale chest. _Is he really wearing black leather pants? Oh God he really is…_ _and they leave nothing to the imagination._

He leaned towards her and pushed his long silver hair back behind his pointy ears. Each ear had no less than two gold rings. A joint hung between his clenched teeth. "Oh...It's just you." He reached for the door knob with the intent of slamming it in her face.

Kagome ignored the sweet smell of pot smoke and stuck her foot in the door. "What do you mean it's just _you?_ You don't even know _who _I am."

Sesshomaru was impressed by her sheer nerve and a quick grin tugged at his lips. Kagome's blood chilled because now he'd found her entertaining and there was no telling where this was heading.

He puffed on the end of his joint while he decided just what to do with her. "I know full well just who you are."

His voice was quiet and the music was so loud, she only figured out what he'd said because she read his lips. "Okay then, who the hell am I?"

Sesshomaru's lips pulled back onto a full grin baring every sharp tooth in his mouth. "You're that girl Inu tumbled and wrote about on the walls of the men's bathroom stall in the Hideaway Tavern."

Mortification filled every cell in her body. Kagome let out a long suffering sigh. "That was ages ago and besides _this_ has _nothing_ to do with _that._" _God damned that no good Inuyasha! I'm gonna enjoy bringing his ass in._

He cocked his head and pulled up on the waist band of his dangerously low slung pants that hung several inches below his navel. Kagome tried hard not to notice he was an outtie, as she watched him trace the almost non existent W on the Welcome mat with his big toe. "If you say so..."

Kagome dug into her purse and pulled out the form Myoga had provided. "I'm from Shikon Bail and Bonds, representing my uncle. We've been…out of contact with Inuyasha and I was wondering if you've seen him."

Sesshomaru raised a brow and casually plucked the paper from her fingers. He stuck out the thumb and forefinger of his right hand making the universal gun symbol. A small spark emitted from his fingertips and her bounty hunter license form went up in smoke.

Kagome bit her lip but decided to stand her ground. Who the hell did he think he was? She refused to be intimidated. "So you have seen him?"

He crumbled the charred remains of her paper then sprinkled them over her head. "I haven't seen him."

Kagome put her hand on her hip, hoping she appeared brave, when she knew the gesture was clichéd. "How long has it been?"

Sesshomaru's eye lids fluttered close for the briefest of moments. His purple stripes and thick silver lashes gave him an ethereal quality. "Six months."

Kagome went for the gusto. "Aw come on now. You are just lying. You don't even like him. Why are you protecting him? Isn't this house on the bond? You'll lose it if we don't find him."

He considered her words then asked. "Have you checked the obits in the Reading Eagle?"

Kagome nodded her head. She hadn't really checked the obituaries but Grandma Kaede read them religiously. Had Inuyasha's name been listed she would've called Kagome immediately and made plans to attend the funeral. Sometimes there wasn't much else to do and Grandma loved socializing even if it was over a funeral mass. _Of course maybe she did call and the phone company's already disconnected my line._

Sesshomaru stretched his long fingers and Kagome noticed his long claws were painted black. He cracked each of his knuckles as he spoke. "Then you already know I haven't seen him. Because the next time I see him, I'm going to kill him."

Kagome swallowed. _Okay, that was direct and straight to the point._

His golden eyes found hers and sparkled with intention. "Don't tell me you're sad?" His tone was one of mild amusement.

Kagome frowned. "I'm fine."

Sesshomaru slowly licked his right fang and raised a brow. "Why don't you come in and I'll help you start the grieving process for my worthless, asshole half brother?"

Kagome's eyes widened. He was serious. She said the first stupid thing that popped in her head. "I'm sorry but I don't smoke pot." _And if Myoga is right neither does your worthless, asshole half brother…_

Sesshomaru glanced down and studied the joint that jutted from his lips. "I wasn't offering to share _that…_" His eyes settled on the line where her bra pushed against her sweater. Kagome groaned inwardly and made a note to wear the baggiest shirts she owned from now on.

She rolled her eyes in disgust. "You hate humans, everyone knows that. Don't waste my time." She turned to leave and heard his reply.

"Human women…have their place." _Yeah I just bet they do, you silver haired freak._

Kagome shuddered. Then she paused, licked the back of Myoga's business card and stuck it to the crescent moon on Sesshomaru's forehead. "If you do hear anything, call this number, preferably before you kill him." She spun around on her heel, strode purposely down the broken sidewalk and called over her shoulder. "Have a nice day."

She heard the slamming of the door and knew it was highly unlikely the card was still in one piece.

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**Notes:**

As the author I in no way condone or encourage the use of any drugs, pot or otherwise. It was added here to serve the purpose of showing how fearless and indifferent Sesshomaru is that he'd answer his front door while smoking an illegal substance.

Reading PA is about ninety minutes North West of Philadelphia. As in previous tales most locations here are real.

I've always thought Myoga was icky…he is a tick after all.

Sorry this one is short, but this story's chapters will tend to be shorter to move the action along and it also allows me to update quicker.


	3. The ExWife Club

_Chapter Three: The Ex-Wife Club_

Kagome decided to quell her aggravation with pie and stopped off at the Fifth Street Diner. The shiny metal building had a nineteen fifties retro design to it and was open, like all good diners should be, twenty four hours a day. She ordered a hot slice of strawberry and rhubarb.

_I have no one to blame for that little incident back there but myself. I should've left the minute he answered the door._

Sesshomaru's deep seated hated for his half brother was legendary. So much so she doubted he was kidding about wanting to kill him. However Sesshomaru was also fond of his creature comforts so she doubted he would be trading in his stereo speaks and marijuana stash for a buzz cut and orange jump suit anytime soon. He'd probably have to settle for making Inuyasha's a life a living hell, which was something he proved to have quite the talent for. So that could only mean one thing. The pointy eared bastard was telling the truth and had no clue to Inuyasha's wear abouts. Unless…

Sesshomaru wasn't gainfully employed. Everyone in town feared him too much to hire him, not that he actually wanted to work. So where'd he get his money? Maybe there was more to the situation than she'd first realized. If he was living off Inutaisho's money then he would've abandoned the run down townhouse for quarters on the upper west side.

Kagome pulled out her miniature note pad and scribbled a quick note. _Last resort….go back to Inu house after Sesshomaru has left._

She sighed. I've b_een on this case for two hours and I just added breaking and enter to my to-do list, right below the note to pick up some more litter for the hedgehog box… This sucks._ Maybe today pie wasn't going to be enough. Hell this might even call for a sundae too.

Kagome ordered the sundae and was fiddling with the mini jupe box, it was stuck on Madonna's Lucky Star, next to the metal napkin dispenser when a tall woman slid into the seat across from her.

She looked up and saw Kikyo, Inuyasha's estranged wife. Or was it ex-wife. It was hard to keep track as Kikyo tended to claim whatever title best suited her purposes at the moment.

Kikyo crossed her legs, which were encased in knee high, black leather high heeled boots and leaned across the table. She addressed Kagome casually as thought they'd always been the best of friends. "So I hear you're looking for Inuyasha?"

Kagome almost dropped her pie fork. _Who told her? Surely not Sesshomaru…_

Kikyo undid her banana clip and shook out her long shiny dark hair. Then she reached for the extra fork and helped herself to a hearty helping of Kagome's pie. "I went by your uncle's place for the stat sheet on Inu and he told me he'd already given it to you."

_Doesn't she work for Myoga's rival Totosai? Where does she get off coming in here? _Kagome forced her self to swallow and take a long drink of cool water before answering. "He did. But why were you there? You don't work for Myoga and seeing how we're searching for your… ex-husband isn't that a minor conflict of interest?"

Kikyo shrugged and unconsciously turned the wedding band on her left ring finger as she spoke. "We weren't ever married. That was just a misunderstanding." The waitress, who was clearing the table behind them broke into a coughing fit at Kikyo's declaration and dropped a tray of dirty silverware. It fell to the floor with a loud _CLANG!_

Kagome ignored the eavesdropping waitress and shot back. "I saw the engagement announcement in the paper five years ago! Since when were you never married?" _Was it the moment you figured out you could make a cool ten grand on his head?_

Kikyo smirked. "Like I said, grave misunderstanding."

Kagome knew this was a pointless battle but she couldn't stand the idea of letting Kikyo get away with this ridiculous façade. "And the wedding photos your aunt had printed in the paper?"

She smiled sweetly. "April fools joke." _Weren't you married in July?_

Kagome closed her eyes before she gave in and rolled them. "Photoshop huh?"

"Yup."

She pushed the pie plate away and decided to get the sundae to go. "Whatever. I've only been at this for two hours and there isn't anything on the stat sheet you don't already know. I don't have any information to share."

Kikyo cocked her head and her large gold hoop earrings brushed the padded shoulders of her white turtleneck. "What did Sesshomaru tell you?"

Kagome's eyes flashed. "You've been following me!"

Kikyo leaned back against the booth. "Maybe. So what he'd say?"

Kagome's tone was flat. "So he wouldn't talk to you?"

Kikyo studied a long acrylic nail. "Nope. Slammed the door right in my face." She turned her dark gaze back to Kagome. "But I couldn't help noticing he seemed right chummy with you."

Kagome wanted to say something biting and sarcastic but the truth spilled out. "The only thing he was… was stoned."

Kikyo added softly, "And horny."

Kagome shrugged. "Maybe but that isn't my department. I just questioned him and left."

Kikyo laughed. "Really that isn't your department? Funny that's not what the men's room at the Hideaway says."

Kagome's head began to hurt. _Doesn't anyone in this God forsaken pit of a town EVER forget anything?_ "I have it on good authority that wall was a slanderous lie and it was painted over no less than eight years ago." If Kikyo could play the lie game so could she. But the wall had been painted; Kagome knew this because she'd done the honors herself. Of course it hadn't helped that everyone in town had already seen it but it made her feel a bit better.

Kikyo nodded. "Sure kid. Anyway I don't know why you didn't castrate him for that. He would've had it coming."

Kikyo was cold and Kagome had no difficult picturing her chasing a man down with the business end of a grapefruit spoon. Kagome had no answer for her. After all why was Kikyo asking her this when she was the one who actually married the jerk? All and all who made the bigger mistake? "So now you know I don't have any information. Are you still gonna follow me?"

"Maybe, you are so easy to follow in that little car. I just follow the smoke and there you are." Kikyo's eyes widened as the waitress sat the sundae on the table between them and added an extra spoon.

"Yeah thanks so much for noticing." Kagome stared dejectedly at the sundae than glanced at her watch. Mickey told her she had twenty minutes to get across town and meet Koga. _Thank God! _

Kagome stood and dropped her last ten dollar bill on the table. "Sorry to eat and run but I gotta go. You can keep the sundae."

Kikyo pulled it closer to her side of the table. "Thanks, I think I will."

Kagome spared the sundae one last look and picked up her coat.

* * *

-----

Rogers' Shooting Gallery

Koga waited for Kagome by the concrete steps. They knew each other in passing but this was the first time they'd shared a real conversation. She was fifteen minutes late, thanks to the traffic on 222 and he was pissed. So things were already off to a great start.

Koga wore a short pair of khaki shorts and a black t-shirt that showed off his chest to it's best advantage. The outfit would have been normal if it wasn't thirty degrees outside. Kagome paused to appreciate his legs as she ducked out of her car.

He watched her approach and ran his hand through his wavy pointy tail in disgust. "I knew it. This is complete nepotism! Why else would Myoga saddle me with…you?"

Kagome glanced down at her sweater and skirt outfit. Okay so maybe the heels were a bit much but it was a nice skirt. This morning she'd dressed for a job interview after all not to play GI Jane. "I needed the job."

He looked pointedly at her car. One of her car doors was a different color than the others. "That's obvious."

Kagome put her hand on hip. "So are we going to do this or what?"

Koga sighed, "Yeah sure, I couldn't have your bloody death on my conscious."

Kagome brightened. "Thanks!"

He shook his head. "Don't thank me just yet. I didn't say you'd live just that I wouldn't feel guilty if you got shot because I am gonna to try to teach you the basics." Koga's eyes slid slowly down her body. Kagome's hand drew into a fist. _IF one more guy gives me the once over today…I swear to God!_

He surprised her by softening his expression. "You're kind of pretty. Maybe this won't be so bad after all. Come on, it's cold as ass out here. Let's get inside."

Kagome resisted the urge to point out that an ass would be warm not cold and followed him through the swinging glass doors. She glanced over her should searching for any sign of Kiyo and found none. _She must still be back at the diner enjoying her free sundae.

* * *

_

-----

Kagome followed Koga into the shooting gallery. He surprised her by passing by the reinforced bullet proof glass door and opening the door to the break room. He tossed his keys on to the counter and motioned for Kagome to pull up a stool.

She did and he stood across from her leaning over the counter.

Koga closed his dark eyes and sighed. Kagome put her hands in her lap waiting for the oncoming lecture. He surprised her by smiling pleasantly and flashing a white smile complete with sharp canines.

"So how's your mom?"

_Okay if it's false pleasantries he wants then I'll give it him._ "She's fine."

Kagome refused to encourage the ridiculous conversation by asking after his family. _But then has anyone ever met any of Koga's family?_ The joke about town was that he was a 'lone wolf'. His family and background was so guarded it was also said he was raised by Godless feral wolves, the actual dogs not the yokai wolves, and not a real family. Kagome doubted this was true. Any idiot knew wolves ran in packs and family was of the up most importance. She imagined Koga encouraged these rumors to add to his reputation.

He nodded. "Good." Koga drummed his claws on the table. "So what are you playing at here?"

"Excuse me?" _Oh no, not this AGAIN! _

"You don't have the stuff to be a skip tracer. Kagome it's dangerous work." His pointed ears fell flat against his head and he narrowed his eyes at her. "You're gonna get killed."

Kagome had already accepted this possible outcome and decided it was infinitely better than moving back in with her parents. She determined a distraction was her best ploy. "What's a skip tracer?"

Koga groaned and dug his claws into the counter top. "Babe, ya don't know? That's the legal and technical definition for a bounty hunter. Skip Tracer, they skip bond and we trace their where abouts…more or less."

Kagome raised a black eyebrow. "Oh, thanks. Good to know."

He slammed his fist onto the counter. "See that's the problem. You have absolutely no experience and no idea what the hell you are doing!"

She asked "So how did you fall into the glamorous world of 'skip' tracing"? _Maybe if he starts talking about himself he'll forget to lecture me._

He frowned. "I was special forces in the military. I have talents that allot of people are willing to pay for. Skip tracing is a side job. It's damned dangerous and unpredictable. So naturally I only go after the big guys. The bigger the money, the better the chase."

Kagome traced the fake wood grain of the counter with her finger nail. "So you must be good?"

Koga's lips spread in a proud grin of wicked proportions. "Babe when ya need a job done right, ya gotta call the wolf."

Kagome smiled. "Good. I'm glad to know I will be learning from the best."

Koga nodded then paused. "No. You are leaving here and finding yourself a normal job. Some place where you can wear form fitting shirts, heels and a skirt. A job where you don't get shot at on a regular basis."

Kagome sucked on her tongue and briefly considered breaking out in tears. This was a low blow and she decided to save it in case she needed it later. Instead she pulled her chin up and rose from the stool. "That's fine. But I will be a skip tracer and I will learn to use a gun. I _need _this job. I'll just find someone else to teach me."

She picked up her purse and turned towards the door. Kagome took one slow step. Then another and her heel clicked on the tiles of the floor. She resisted the urge to look over her shoulder to see Koga's expression. She reached for the door knob and began to count to ten in her head.

One Mississippi…Two Mississippi…Five Mississippi… then Bingo! She heard him groan.

"Okay just wait a second." His tone was put out and pained.

Kagome swung around to face him. She plastered her brightest grin across her lips. "Yes?"

Koga shook his head as he pulled a sweat band from his back pocket and tugged it down across his forehead. He checked his long ponytail and looked up at Kagome. "Babe, ya win already. Let's do this."

* * *

----

**Notes:**

ChocolateMaltesers: I love that you actually used the word prat, too funny. And no at this point Kagome is not in 'like' with Inu but let's wait and see…

Darking Queen: Yeah Morrelli is annoying but I think this chapter proves Koga is still Koga. Though I am a Rangeman fan! And I've come to terms with my twisted-ness.

BlackFlameKit: I haven't read Metro Girl. Too busy here, LOL!

My goal is to be Plum-isque but not follow the stories word for word. Thanks for reading this! I try to do different and interesting stories so I appreciate your support.


	4. Breaking the Law

_Chapter Four: Breaking the Law_

Koga spread his well toned arms and gave a short bow. "Babe welcome to the wonderful world of bond enforcement." He pulled out a chair and sat in it backwards with the back between his splayed knees. "I think this will go a lot faster if you tell me what you already know."

Kagome shrugged. "I'm not a complete idiot. I mean I've seen Dog Duane Chapman on A&E." _Back when I still had cable and a TV set._

Koga put his face in his hands and groaned. "This is gonna be worse than I thought."

She raised a pointer finger and added helpfully. "Oh and Spike Spiegel..."

He tried hard not to laugh as he shook his head. "This ain't Cowboy Bebop."

Koga wait for Kagome to take her seat before continuing. "First of all you are a bail enforcement agent. Second of all you're gonna need a license."

Kagome protested. "Myoga gave me a license!" _Damn Sesshomaru._

"Really, let's see it." He held out his hand and Kagome just sat there.

"It met with an unfortunate fate. I was going to pick up a new one in the morning." She tried hard to quell the self pity in her voice.

Koga rocked back on the chair legs. "A real license costs fifty dollars and takes thirty days to process."

Kagome frowned. "I don't have thirty days. I need to start this gig now, or even yesterday would have been better. I can't wait."

He leaned his chin on the chair rail; she saw her reflection in his dark brown eyes. "You're taking a huge risk here. If you are caught than it's a third degree misdemeanor in the state of Pennsylvania." _And we all know what happens to pretty little things like you in jail_.

She nodded. "I realize that."

"Okay than. Now, what is your most valuable weapon?"

Kagome answered without thought, "My gun."

He shook his head. "No, the element of surprise. Catching a skip unawares at home, work, his girl's place whatever; it's always easier if you can sneak up on them. They should never see you coming."

She pursed her lips, _Hope I haven't blown that already._

Koga wondered why he was wasting his time with the next question. "Have you ever fired a gun before?"

She answered with confidence. "Yes."

He added, "Duck Hunt, the Super Nintendo game doesn't count."

She bit her lip and looked down at the sticky table top. "Okay then not so much."

Koga tapped his fingers on the chair frame. "Most of the guys Myoga will send you after will be drunks, shiftless lay a bouts, or minor drug offenders who are just at their house too drunk or stoned to remember their court date. You pop in on them. Use some common sense, and give them a friendly reminder when they have to be in court along with a complimentary ride to the police station. There they can be rebooked and bickety bam! All done."

Kagome relented, "That doesn't sound so bad. Who goes after the big bad guys?"

Koga grinned proudly. "I do."

"How big is Inuyasha?" she asked casually.

"He's the biggest prize in the cracker jack box. I'd be on his ass right now if my damned license weren't suspended." He ground his teeth. He'd really been looking forward to bring in that dog turd too.

Kagome asked, "How did that happen?"

He gave her a dark look, "I gotta concealed weapons charge in Myrtle Beach thanks to the fact my permit to carry was expired. So they suspended my bond enforcement license until my court date back in South Carolina."

_Ah, so this was what Myoga was apologizing for._ "So if I were to let's just say, go after Inuyasha… You wouldn't be able to help me?"

Koga looked as though he could slam his face into the table top. "No, please tell me Myoga didn't give you _that_ case."

She raised her brows. "Sure did."

"Damn it! Doesn't he care if you get killed? How did you force him to do this? What did ya do, blackmail him?"

Kagome sat in stony silence and he pounded his fist on the table top. "Remind me to stay on your good side. Shit!"

She smiled. "Consider it done." Then something occurred to her. "Does this mean you couldn't…help me?" Not that she wasn't capable of doing this herself, but just in case.

"It means that if I did, I'd have to be gone before the cops arrived." He gave a cocky grin. "But I'll still answer my cell if I see your number on the screen."

* * *

----

Koga outfitted her for the shooting range with a 10 mm automatic Glock 29 and ear protectors. The gun was hard, shiny and surprisingly small.

Koga saw her expression and assured her. "That holds fifteen rounds; each squeeze of the trigger is all you need per round. That little beauty has the same firepower of some of the larger rifles."

The gun felt cold and cruel in her hands and Kagome immediately decided she'd never use it.

Koga instructed, "Always make sure your safety is on. This way if you drop your gun, you won't accidentally shoot yourself."

He showed how the safety was built into the trigger. "When the safety is on, the spring loaded pin will prevent your trigger bar from moving. This bar is part of the drop safety. The only way to deactivate these two safeties is to have the trigger pulled all the way back." He passed her back the gun. "No show me how to use the safety."

Kagome disengaged the safety and reinstated it effortlessly. Koga smiled. "Good girl. Now what is the most important rule of gun safety? After using the safety of course."

Kagome blinked. "Don't drop your gun on your foot."

"While that is good advice that wasn't the answer." He put his hand on her shoulder and stuck his face in hers, nose to nose. "NEVER, I repeat, NEVER pull your gun out unless you are willing to use it. A gun isn't a scare tactic or a threat. If you pull it out then be ready to kill. Once a skip senses your reluctance, a tiny thing like you, he'll take the gun from you and use it on you."

Kagome's stomach did a sickening flop. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. She didn't have the fifty dollars for the license, the thirty days to wait for it or the gumption to kill someone. "Okay..."

He loaded the gun and she watched as he withdrew the ammo. "Here, you try."

After Kagome reloaded the gun, Koga reluctantly stood. "Okay here goes nothing."

* * *

-----

He stood beside her showing her how to stand with her legs apart, shoulders back and spine straight. Kagome looked down a long alley at the paper target of a man. He didn't appear too threatening and with good luck he'd be the only man she'd ever have to shoot.

Koga was all business barking instructions. "Both hands on the handle and raise your arms, now hold steady."

The tiny gun had no scope but he showed her how to aim down the barrel. "Always aim for something big. You're new at this and will want to be kind and hit and arm or leg but those are difficult targets. You will miss. Aim for the chest."

Kagome's shaky hands held the gun aiming for the outline's paper chest.

Koga stood behind her checking her stance and rested his chin on her shoulder and his hands around her waist. If it weren't for the fact she was getting ready to shot a gun for the first time in her entire life, she might have found the contact intriguing. She felt his warm breath on her cheek as he spoke. "Okay good. I want you to count to five then shoot." He replaced her ear protectors and stepped away after donning his own.

Kagome took a deep breath and squeezed the trigger. The recoil of the gun slammed her elbows into her breasts. She winced at the pain and the noise. It was so loud she didn't understand how Koga could stand it with his yokai wolf hearing.

He stood behind her clapping. "Bravo. If the wall behind the guy was attacking you then he'd be dead. Let's try again. This time hold your elbows steady and hold your breath. It'll help your aim and keep you from wobbling. Also no flinching, remember you are on the right side of the gun. It won't bite."

Koga kept Kagome practicing her aim for a solid twenty minutes. Her chest ached from the power of the recoils and her arms were sore. She thoroughly hated the gun but out of three reloads, about forty five rounds she did get in maybe fifteen direct hits on the chest. Her ears were ringing but she was pleased with her progress.

As she pulled off the ear protectors she heard Koga sigh, "Thank the Gods you aren't charge of protecting the president. You couldn't hit the broad side of a barn."

"But I'm getting better…right?" Her voice was hopeful.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Yeah if ya say so, look I'll see you back here the same time tomorrow for more of the same."

Kagome nodded. "If I must." She handed him back the gun and he shook his head.

"That's all yours. Consider it a…gift." He was serious.

Kagome held the gun by it's butt as if it were a dead bug. "Um thanks but I have no permit to carry this."

He shrugged and dropped an arm over her shoulders. "Yeah but if you're busted that'll be the least of your problems. Come back to the break room I have something else for ya too."

_Great! It's weapons Christmas time._ Kagome followed him back to the tiny room that reeked of stale coffee. Koga presented her with a box. She opened it and found a cell phone, a Taser gun and a bottle of grizzly bear pepper spray, all powerful enough to bring even a hanyou to his knees. Kagome was speechless, she couldn't accept this. "Koga, this is very generous but I have no way to pay for any of this."

He grinned. "I wouldn't say that. Now if you find that mutt, just subdue him and call the police. He's too powerful for you to bring in on your own. Got that?"

Kagome nodded as she wondered what price she would pay down the road for this box of goodies. She flipped open the phone and saw his number was already programmed into it. "So you just have extra phones lying around or what?"

Koga looked bored. "I get a group discount. So this doesn't cost me a thing."

Somehow that didn't ease her nerves one bit.

* * *

------

Kagome sat in parallel parked outside the pawnshop counting the money she'd gotten for her last coffee table. It was a piddling amount but money was still money and her tank was almost on E. Now the only furniture she owned was her old couch. The only reason it was still in her apartment was because she couldn't carry it out on her own.

The box of bounty hunter goodies sat on the car seat beside her. She guessed she should pocket the Taser at least but she still wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea of packing a weapon.

Kagome noticed the red Jeep Wrangler in front of her was running it's engine but no one was in it. This was very unusual because in Reading it was almost a guaranteed way to lose your car in one minute or less. She decided to investigate and stepped out of her car.

_Nah, this is TOO good to be true. It can't be._ But it was. There was only one person who drove a cherry red Jeep Wrangler complete with jagged black stripes down the sides. Inuyasha.

The door was locked but it was pointless because the plastic window coverings were missing. The Jeep sat before Kagome with it's premium sound system, leather seats and full tank of gas calling her name.

She decided to check the shops next to the parking meter to see if Inuyasha was in any of them. She got to the pawn shop door and low and behold who stood beside the display of electric guitars but Sesshomaru, still wearing the leather pants but with a white tee shirt.

_Damn it!_ She was so close she could smell it. But Kagome was certain Sesshomaru was alone. She knew the Jeep was Inuyasha's prized possession and pondered the possibilities as she watched Sesshomaru peruse the Pawn Shop. He stopped and gave her former coffee table a solid kick and fury burned in her ears.

Why waste her time hunting Inuyasha down when taking his Jeep would bring him to her? Also the notion of stranding his bastard half brother had endless appeal. Sesshomaru was hardly in the position to call the cops for a stolen car and besides it was likely he'd stolen it himself. That ripped it.

Kagome hefted the cardboard box from her passenger seat and checked the Mazda for any other things she might miss if the car was towed. She then tossed the box into the jeep. She crossed to the driver's side door and slid in through the open window frame. It was harder than she'd first anticipated and took longer too. For a brief instant it appeared she might be stuck waiting for Sesshomaru to find her with her ass hanging out of the window but luck was on her side and she pulled through.

The Jeep was a stick but posed no challenge. Kagome took it out of neutral pulled into first gear, dropped the parking break and roared away. She decided to take a pass through Inuyasha's old neighborhood just so he'd know who had his beloved Jeep and where to come looking for it.


	5. Oh the Prickly Consequences

_Chapter Five: Oh the Prickly Consequences_

Kagome noticed a tiny red cel phone on the black leather seat beside her. She stopped at the long line of cars facing the red traffic light at the height of rush hour and decided to check out the phone. There were no saved voice mails but there was a list of recent text messages. _Isn't this Sesshomaru's phone…?_ As she read the messages she realized it was in fact Inuyasha's phone.  
**  
Monday Oct 24 13:30 from Sesshou:** I'm gonna kill you.  
**  
****Tuesday Oct 25 12:15 from Sesshou:** Still gonna kill you.  
**  
****Wednesday Oct 26 10:14 from Sesshou:** Don't bother making any plans today; if I see you I will kill you.

**Thursday Oct 27 18:36 from Sesshou:** Got stuck in traffic. Saw you in the other lane. Almost got to kill you. Damnit. Better luck next time.

Kagome stifled a hoot of laughter. And she thought her family was dysfunctional. She keeping scroll down the tiny screen of the razor cel phone.

**Friday Oct 28 20:21 from Sesshou:** yada, yada, yada, will kill you tomorrow, it's in my PDA this time so I won't forget. BTW step-Ma wants you to mow her lawn. I sure as hell ain't doing it.  
**  
****Saturday Oct 29 17:32 from Sesshou:** Would've killed you but had to wait for you to mow ma's lawn first.

**Sunday Oct 30 11:18 from Sesshou:** Realized lawn season is over, I'm gonna kill you after church

**Monday Oct 31 18:02 from Sesshou:** Can't kill you tonight, my band's got a gig. Come see us, we're at the Hide Away. Wear a gay costume and I'll kill you.

**Wednesday Nov 2 11:14 from Sesshou:** Happy Day of Dead. How perfect because I am gonna kill you.  
**  
****Thursday Nov 3 8:01 from Kikyo:** Don't be late for our court date! You OWE me that alimony.

**Friday Nov 4 21:45 from Sesshou:** Was gonna kill you then heard you lost to Kikyo in court, you will suffer more this way than if I killed you today but don't worry I'll get around to it.

**Saturday Nov 5 23:05 from Sesshou:** Gonna kill you tomorrow. Don't be late.  
**  
****Sunday Nov 6 7:01 from Sesshou:** Don't have to kill you, will let you rot in jail instead.  
**  
****Tue Nov 8 13:06 from Sesshou:** Made bail, you suck, now am really gonna kill you.  
**  
****Wed Nov 9 22:09 from Sesshou:** I'm going to kill you.

**Friday Nov 11 11:01 from Sesshou:** My goody two shoed half breed bastard bro skipped bail. Who knew you had it in you? Still going to kill you but I am driving your Jeep until then.  
**  
****Sunday Nov 13 14:39 from Sesshou:** Have decided, am keeping Jeep even after I kill you. It's got a killer sound system. Pun intended.  
**  
****Monday Nov 14 9:05 from Izayoi:** This is your mother! Where the hell are you! My stupid baby boy! Turn yourself in ASAP! You should be ashamed of yourself…making your mamma worry.

**Wednesday Nov 16 20:45 from Sesshou:** Now step-Ma is mad and calling me every 5 minutes, I will kill you.  
**  
****Friday Nov 18 10:00 from Sesshou:** Ma wants to see you and I wanna kill you. Meet me at Barney's Pawn at 6; maybe we can kill two birds (and you) at once.

Kagome dropped the phone back onto the seat, _Shit! _She'd been so close to him and she'd blown it. _Well at least that does explain why his cell phone was on the seat, he was only ten freaking feet away!_ She tapped her fingers on his leather wrapped steering wheel as she watched the light change to green.

Who was she fooling? She had no shot at winning if she took both Inu brothers on at once; assuming Sesshomaru would even help Inuyasha. This was still the best idea. _Make him come to you_.

Lucky for her the guys were unlikely to call the cops. After all Inuyasha was on the run and Sesshomaru was less than fond of any kind of law enforcement, which was one of the many reasons he despised his half brother the cop. Also the Inu family was well known for solving their own problems, which only served to solidify the rumors of their mob connections.

She pressed her foot to the gas and was impressed with the pick up and go of the Jeep. Much nicer than the old Mazda 323 but this baby was a gas guzzler; however she was happy to note, she hadn't paid to fill the tank. Maybe Sesshomaru had. That was a gratifying thought. Kagome got a bang being able to see over the over cars, until she realized the Jeep made her a prime target for anyone with a gun.

Kagome cruised through Inuyasha's old neighborhood and even did a wheelie a few miles later in the parking lot of his apartment complex. She wanted to get it over with before anyone got the grand idea to send a bullet her way. Not that she really thought it would come to that but one never knew.

Daylight faded to night and she pulled up in the parking lot of Chief Allen's Bistro across the street from her walk up studio apartment. Kagome trudged up the three flights of stairs and slid the key in to the lock. She pushed open the door and was faced with the brutal reality of her situation. The thin carpet of the floor was bare. She still had her Murphy bed but that was only because it was physically attached to the wall and belonged to the landlord and not her. The large ferret cage in the center of the room was the biggest thing in the whole apartment.

Kagome flipped on the light and bent over the cage. The bedding rustled and a plum colored, clever nose poked out followed by a set of beady black eyes.

"Hiya Hedge, I'm home. What'd you do all day?" She tapped the bars and the prickly round body wiggled in protest. Bartleby hedgehog, AKA Bartles, was a big believer in his beauty rest and insisted on all twenty hours of it. Kagome dropped a few dried crickets into his ceramic food bowl and he was instantly awake. Bartles had his price and it came in the form of anything that went crunch.

Kagome left the hedgehog to his snack and changed out of the skirt into black jeans, black sweat shirt, socks and sneakers. She pulled her hair up into a high pony tail and felt very Mission Impossible. She hummed the theme music as she pulled out a chilled can of slim fast from the fridge. She hated Slim Fast, it was a gift from Grandma Kaede who'd started the diet and quit it all in one day. Kagome had inherited the case of chocolate Slim Fast she'd purchased in bulk from Sam's Club. It was all Kagome had left to eat, after that she was down the hedgehog kibble which might be more appealing than the slim fast.

_Uk, there's nothing like chocolate chalk for dinner, thank Gods I had that pie earlier. _Kagome slid on her thick black coat and riffled through the box of bounty hunters tools before deciding on the Taser, hand cuffs and pepper spray. She dropped her gun into the ceramic cow shaped cookie jar that mooed when it's lid was removed

She shuffled down to the street, popped the hood on the Jeep and pulled out the distributor cap. She hid it in her locked mail box along with the Jeep keys then found a nice cozy bush to sit in while she waited to see just how much Inuyasha cared about his Jeep.

* * *

------

Chef Allen's closed and Kagome watched as the last dishwasher and night manager locked up for the night. Kagome's bush was freezing and she'd long ago lost all the feeling in her ass. _This sucks. _

_What if he's gone out of town and I'm out here for nothing. Or even worse, what if Sesshomaru is coming for me? What then? Damnit!_

How did she always manage to get herself into these situations? Kagome sucked on the tip of her tongue and mustered her determination. She checked her watch and Mickey announced it was ten minutes till twelve.

_Okay I'll give this steak out until one in the morning. Then I'm calling it quits.

* * *

_

-----

Over the next hour she saw a menagerie of stray dogs, stray peoplecops patrolling and one bar fight that had been taken out into the street. She threw in the towel at one after more than five hours of sitting in the cold night air. _Hell, maybe tomorrow I can pick up some of the shiftless lay abouts Koga told me about and score some fast cash. Maybe this Inuyasha thing was a bad idea to start with._

Kagome climbed the three long stories to her apartment, swearing that when she had some money she'd move to a nicer place with an elevator.

She stuck her key into the lock and pushed open the door. Her heat was turned down to lukewarm but it still felt great when compared to the chilly air outside.

The apartment was oddly quiet. Not that there was any appliances left to make noise…but still. She should've heard Bartleby shuffling through his bedding or some kind of noise but there was only the quiet hum of the heater.

Kagome shut the door and when she realized her mistake it was already too late.

An arm shot out of the dark catching her around the neck. She screamed, raised her sneaker and stomped down on her attacker's foot. A man howled in her ear but then he tightened his arm around her neck pressing her windpipe against the inside of his elbow. Kagome bit down hard on the arm and was flung against his chest. She tried to scream again but ended up with a mouth full of long hair. She spat it out. _This isn't mine._ _Ick!_

Moonlight streamed into the room and she saw the silver shine of his hair and knew. Inuyasha had come for her.

Upon her revelation she froze in his arms. He realized she'd recognized him but didn't care. Warm air blew across her ear as he spoke to her. "You bitch! What the hell is your damage?"

Kagome decided not to answer if he was going be _that_ way about it and call her names.

"I asked you a question. What the fuck did I ever do to you?" He was sincerely pissed off, she hadn't expected this. She figured he'd recognize her new career and just lead her on a merry chase. Not get mad and confront her.

She held her breath in silence and he answered his own question. "Please tell me you aren't still mad about _that_/ It was eight years ago for Christ sakes!"

Kagome hissed, "Actually I am still very mad about that. The whole town is still talking about it!"

It was his turn to be surprised. "Really?" Even though his chest was to her back, she heard the grin creep into his voice. _He's proud of it! Asshole!_

"But that's not why I'm after you."

He laughed, "You're after me? I hadn't noticed. I just thought you jacked my ride for kicks."

Kagome caught him in the ribs with the point of her elbow. His grip on her never loosened but she heard him gasp. "I'm on you for the bounty. I need the money. Now let's get down to the police station and get this sorted out."

His laughter was so hard and loud the force of it shook her bones. He brushed his lips against the shell of her ear and whispered, "Don't ya think you're on the wrong side of this confrontation to be calling the shots?'

Kagome thought of the distributor cap locked safely away in her mailbox. "Nope."

"Gods you're a brazen bitch aren't ya? So, have ya been in the grand theft auto business long or is this a new hobby."

She huffed and jerked her ear away from his mouth. "I'm not obligated to tell you a damned thing."

His voice was jovial, as if he'd been hoping she'd refuse. "Okay then, no big. Why don't I just pick up your little furry friend there in the coroner and squeeze him till he pops?"

Kagome's heart stopped in her chest until she remembered while Inuyasha was a jackass he wasn't a monster, even if he was accused of murder. Also Bartles did not take well to strangers and had just a few defense mechanisms of his own. She smiled and said nothing.

Inuyasha locked the deadbolt behind and pocketed the key. Not for the first time Kagome cursed the stupid lock that needed a key to lock the apartment from the inside. He tossed her onto the thin mattress and proceeded towards the hedgehog cage.

The tiny door opened with a squeak and she heard Bartles beginning to huff in protest. Inuyasha slipped one clawed hand down into the bedding and lifted him from the cage. "What the hell is wrong with your hamster? He's all sharp or something."

Kagome leaned off the mattress and hit the light switch. The room was flooded with bright light streaming from the naked light bulbs in the overhead ceiling fan. Hedgehogs are by nature nocturnal and aren't big fans of bright light. Bartles was no different. The bright light combined with the strange hand holding him inspired him to roll into a tight little ball of sharp quills. The quills jammed into the sensitive skin on the palm of Inuyasha's hand right, causing him to curse and squeeze the warm, little prickly ball. Bartles unrolled slightly and wrapped himself around Inuyasha's hand, then opened his tiny muzzle and proceeded to chomp down onto his thumb. Inuyasha howled and swung out his hand, waving it around trying to free the swinging hedgehog.

Bartleby gave up the ghost, let go of Inuyasha's thumb then was catapulted into the air and across the room. Kagome saw him unroll as he came flying at her, furry white belly first. She caught him and held him to her chest. He nuzzled his tiny wet nose against her shirt grateful to be free of the yelling hanyou.

Inuyasha watched her cuddle the prickly offender and growled, "You _would_ own a fucking living pin cushion." He held his hand and frowned in pain. "Son of a bitch!" Bright red pin pricks formed over his hand.

Kagome muttered softly to Bartles, "Men are such babies." He sniffed in agreement.

Inuyasha cast a golden eye in her direction as he frowned, his ears flattening against his head. "You are the world's _worst_ hostage ever." She flipped her long hair over her shoulder. "It's not like they give lessons on it in school." Well to be honest, even if they had she probably would've cut that class.

Inuyasha slid his wounded hand into the pocket of his baggy, faded blue jeans. He knelt down on the floor beside the mattress facing her. "So spill Higurashi, why the hell are you, of all people, out to get me? You got your revenge that time you ran over me with your Ma's sedan. REMEMBER that?"

A slow smile crossed her lips assuring him she'd never forget _that_ satisfying moment. Kagome ran her hand down the hedgehog's back soothing his prickly disposition as she answered in a smug tone. "I'm a bail bond enforcement agent, and you" she pointed at his chest, "missed your court date."

Inuyasha scratched his chest through his dark blue Penn State shirt as if she'd actually touched him. "Ya gotta be kidding. This is un-fucking-believable."

He began to laugh, "You, a bounty hunter! So what happened? Did your uncle die or just lose his mind?"

The fact he refused to take her even the tiniest bit seriously burned on her nerves like kerosene on a camp fire. Kagome casually reached into her pocket with her free hand and removed the tiny canister of grizzly pepper spray. She pressed down on the release tab but not before Inuyasha's hanyou nose caught a whiff.

Realizing what she was about to unleash on him, he dove on top of her knocking the can free from her hand and Kagome fell onto the bed. He held her wrist in his hand and his chest bared down on her breasts as his weight pushed the air from her lungs. She held the hedgehog safely in the crook of her other arm against her side.

"You stupid cow, do you realize how small this place is? There is no ventilation either. You would've made us all, including your precious needle assed critter here, sick as all hell."

He ran his free hand through his long sliver hair in exasperation. "Lord, do you have even a smidge of common sense in that thick skull of yours?"

Kagome resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at him. He sat up straddling her hips; she was free to breathe again and gasped for air. "Get off me you jackass!" She pushed at his chest with her free hand.

Inuyasha's lips spread in a lazy smile baring the pointy ends of his white teeth. "Nahh, I'm comfy right here." He patted her thigh for good measure.

Kagome held her breath as he leaned over her, his hair brushing across her shoulders. "Now, what I'd really like to know is how you think you're gonna bring me in." He wiggled his hips and a very pleasant tingling sensation started in places Kagome really didn't want to think about, reminding her how he'd won her virginity in the first place.

She gritted her teeth, "Please, do don't that."

Inuyasha grinned wickedly and whispered innocently, "Do what? You mean….this?" He continued his provocative movements and a blush rose high in her cheeks.

He bent down, nipped the end of her nose then sat up abruptly. "Don't flatter yourself. Just tell me what I want to hear."

Kagome sighed, "And what would that be?"

He cocked his head. "That you will cease and desist in this harassment of me and tell me where the _FUCK,_ you've hidden my damn keys!"

She gave a shy smile and mumbled. "I don't have your keys."

Inuyasha licked his left canine as he narrowed his eyes at her. "Are you sure?'

Kagome swallowed. "Very."

He tossed his head and laughed. "Okay great, then we're gonna do this my way." Inuyasha ran his hands up under her sweat shirt, skimming his hands over her ribs.


	6. Nudity & Infamy

_Chapter Six: Nudity & Infamy _

Kagome felt the warm body of the hedgehog abandon her as he ran down the edge of the bed, hopped down to the floor, and made a break for it. _Little traitor! Can't trust anyone anymore._

She held her breath as Inuyasha's criminally smooth hands sat on her belly. "What the hell are you doing?" She demanded sounding braver than she felt.

He shrugged. "You won't tell me where you hid my keys so I'm gonna do the next best thing and strip search you."

This was an unhappy turn of events. Suddenly Kagome would've given anything to not have locked the keys downstairs in her tiny mailbox. "Honestly Inu, I don't have them. Gods I swear."

He brought his face down next to hers and she closed her eyes anticipating his lips but was surprised when all he did was inhale. _Is he sniffing my hair?_

She looked up and saw his eyes glowing above her face. He frowned. "You reek of that damned wolf. You bitch! You gave Koga my keys didn't you?"

"No I swear… I didn't" Kagome was at a loss for words or what to do next. Nothing today had gone as she planned. Too bad she didn't have a personal physic, maybe she could've sued for damages.

His nose twitched as Inuyasha sat up and began glancing around the room. "Where is he?"

Kagome swallowed. "Koga's not here?" she offered in a tiny voice.

He dismissed her words with a wave of his clawed hand. "No, not him, the prickly rat."

_Rat?_ "He's not a rat he's a hedgehog."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever. So where'd he go? I don't want to get attacked again."

She giggled slightly. "You're afraid of a hedgehog? And you picked on him first." _This was too rich._

He crossed his arms. "Hell no, I just don't want to get stuck again. So where is he?" Inuyasha pushed her bedding aside looking for the little hedge. "Wench, I asked you a question." He squeezed her hips between his thighs to emphasize his point.

Kagome answered simply, "He's run off and hidden somewhere."

A wicked grin lit Inuyasha's face and his furry ears perked forward in Kagome's direction. "Good, now that I've dispatched your guard hog, where were we?"

Kagome bit her bottom lip. "I was just explaining I don't have your keys here, and that I'm terribly sorry for that. You were just leaving."

Inuyasha shook his head and she watched his silvery hair bounced around his shoulders. "This ain't a Bugs Bunny cartoon. Okay I've tried the easy way but you seem to love the hard way, so here goes nothing."

Inuyasha leaned back and ran his hand down the inside of her leg. Kagome shivered, watching as he took her sneaker in his hand, pulled it off and tossed it to the floor. He quickly removed the other and her socks soon followed. He crossed his eyes and wrinkled his nose. "Gods Higurashi, you feet STINK!"

Kagome fought back trying to stick her feet in his face but he quickly retaliated by holding her foot down and tickling it. She screamed and bucked trying desperately to break away to no avail. He dropped her foot and left her gasping for breath.

"Okay, you are just barefoot. It's not too late to tell me where my keys are and still keep your clothing."

Kagome shot back. "You're the criminal. Why don't you just hotwire it?"

Inuyasha raised a black brow. "Because then I'd have to rip up the damned steering wheel and besides you've no doubt done something trite like jacked the damned distributor cap anyway."

She gave everything away by turning beet red. He groaned and his hands hovered over her throat. "Damnation, but you are the stupidest woman alive."

"I resent that. And if I am so dumb than why do I have _your _Jeep?" Kagome was incensed and beyond thinking clearly.

He sighed, "Good question. Guess I'm slipping in my old age."

She nodded a little too enthusiastically for his taste. He growled low, "Oh that just rips it." His hands were under her shirt and on her bare skin as he pulled off her black sweat shirt. Underneath she wore a black halter top complete with sports bra. "How much shit do you have on?"

She was indignant. "It's cold outside."

He nodded staring appreciatively at the shelf of her black bra. "I can see that."

Kagome lifted her knee aiming for his crotch. Inuyasha anticipated her move and leapt up in the air narrowly avoiding her blow. His laughter echoed of the walls of the studio apartment. "I'm faster than that."

He landed back in the same position he'd jumped from only this time he made sure she wouldn't be kneeing him again anytime soon. "Now that was just dirty."

Kagome protested. "And what you're doing to me isn't"

Inuyasha pressed a claw between his teeth pretending to be lost in thought. "Umm… No. This is beautiful justice. The last two weeks of my life have been a living hell; this is the highlight of my day."

As much as she wanted to hate him, Kagome was reminded of the messages on his cel phone and knew he wasn't exaggerating. First Kikyo, then the arrest and now he'd skipped bond. Yeah his life was pretty screwed up. But wait, whose fault was that? It wasn't as if someone put a gun to his head and forced him to wed Kikyo, shoot some guy then make a break for it. "Have you considered the reason your life is a living hell, as you put it, is because you make bad decisions." It was simple enough question.

Inuyasha leered at her and snapped the elastic strap of her sports bra. "As I recall not all of your choices are winners either. You knew I was trouble and you let me have you eight years ago." As if she could ever forget his seduction and the warm beer. "You know I'm dangerous now and yet here we are again." He wagged his eyebrows at her. "Higurashi, I'm beginning to think ya like me."

She retorted, "Yeah and I've got the dent on my mom's car to prove it."

He frowned and she knew she'd said the wrong thing. "I still owe you for that one. Ya know, you aren't making this any easier."

Kagome said in bored tone. "You said yourself; you're a hopeless lost cause and bad to the proverbial bone. Why bother trying to make you see reason?"

He blinked then howled with laughter. "Good point. So one for the money, where's my goddamned keys."

She answered honestly. "Inuyasha I don't have them here."

He narrowed his flashing eyes. "Wrong answer."

He hefted his weight onto his hand and vaulted to the end of the bed. He grabbed the pant cuffs of her black jeans and gave them a hard yank. Kagome shrieked as her pants slid down her bare legs. Inuyasha stood at the end of the Murphy bed waving the black jeans like a victory flag.

Kagome sat on the bed in her halter top, bra and black bikini briefs brimming with outrage. Her expression was so startling Inuyasha thoughtlessly offered, "Shit relax women, it ain't like I haven't seen all of you before."

This earned him a solid kick to the chest. He staggered back a step, "Okay that was uncalled for…" He grinned, "Just a bit."

Kagome lay in silent rage glaring at him as he crawled up the bed and once again straddled her hips. Inuyasha traced her collar bone with the tip of his claw. "One more time wench. Where in the fucking hell are my keys and the damn distributor cap?"

Kagome's bravery had left with her pants. "I…don't have them here, but gimme my clothes and I'll take you to where I hid them."

He bared his fangs then leaned down and traced her jaw line with his nose. Kagome's breath caught in her throat and she lifted her head. Inuyasha pushed her back down. "Fucking A, you are a horrible liar."

He sat up, climbed off her and perched on the side of the bed. Inuyasha retrieved her pants and investigated her pockets. He tossed the Taser to the floor. Kagome cursed herself for having forgotten to use it. He cut his eyes at her almost sensing her thoughts. "Keh, as if you're fast enough to hit me with that anyway."

He pulled the hand cuffs from her pants and let them swing freely, glinting in the bright glow of her dusty light bulbs. "Now these," marveled Inuyasha, "are gonna come in handy."

Kagome's stomach dropped to the floor as his lips spread into an evil grin.

Inuyasha lifted Kagome off the bed and carried her to the old fashioned radiator just under the only window in the apartment. He smirked as he whipped out the cuffs and snapped one end around her wrist and the other around the coil of the tiny heater. Kagome was instantly grateful the stupid heater was on low.

He left her there, took a few steps back then studied her as if she were a painting. Inuyasha licked his canines. "Something's missing."

He knelt down beside her and tore the tank top down the middle taking the sports bra with it. Then he tossed both pieces of clothing into the bathroom. Kagome's eyes went wide and her hands rushed up to cover her breasts but not before giving Inuyasha the eyeful he'd been sorely hopping for. He bounced back into her mini kitchen only a few feet away laughing. "Now _that_ is a big improvement."

Kagome did her best to keep covered and demanded "What the hell am I gonna do now?"

Inuyasha shrugged. "I dunno, just wait for someone to come looking for ya, I guess."

He kicked her cel phone just out of her reach. "Maybe that stupid hedge rat will fetch it for ya."

Kagome shivered as the cool air of the room settled around her. Inuyasha paused and wondered if he'd taken this too far. After all she was someone's sister; at least he thought she was. Truthfully he hadn't stayed around long enough last time to find out. But if he had a sister and someone left her practically naked and handcuffed to a heater, he'd be pissed.

Inuyasha mulled it over as he began tossing her measly apartment in search of his keys.

Her fridge was empty, which explained how thin the stupid girl was. Thank the Gods for those breasts though. Nothing lacking there.

Her closet was packed full of clothing, Inuyasha pulled out random outfits, throwing them on the floor behind him. She owned more shoes than one woman could wear in a lifetime, most of them with heels. He glanced over his shoulder to admire her long legs and figured she'd look damn hot in nothing but her panties and the heels.

He smacked his hand against his forehead. _I'm here to get the Jeep back, that's it. _Course teaching her a little lesson was fun but just a bonus. It wasn't safe for him or her for that matter to be seen anywhere near his beloved Jeep Wrangler.

Inuyasha saw something move in a black strappy Steve Madden sandal and lifted his boot to squash it when he recognized the pointy nose of the hedgehog. The animal hissed at him then retreated back into the mound of shoes.

He gave up on the closet and moved to the built in drawers surrounding the bed. _Nothing, not one goddamned thing._ Except for her shoes, she was practically Spartan. He cursed and pulled the thin mattress from the bed into the mini kitchen just for good measure.

Kagome watched him tear her home apart with wide eyes. The day had gone from bad to worse to totally screwed. _Oh well, maybe when he's done he'll realize I was telling the truth and give my clothes back._

Inuyasha paused in front of Kagome blatantly watching the rise and fall of her pale and goose bumped cleavage. "Guess it really isn't here after all." He shrugged and bent down next to her holding her dark eyes with his smoldering golden gaze. "I'd say it's been a little slice of heaven…but it hasn't."

His eyes dropped down over her naked chest once more for a long look then he stood and popped the lock on the door. The rush of cold air blew over Kagome. "If ya know what's good for ya then ya'll give the Jeep back to my dick head, half brother."

Kagome considered this as best she could topless and pissed off. "Why? Doesn't Sesshomaru want to kill you? Why would he help you?"

He surprised her by answering. "He's got this thing about any authority higher than his own. And he'd hate to stain the leather with my blood." Inuyasha frowned and he pointed at her. "Do it. Bring back the Jeep or else next time we meet you won't get off this lucky."

He slammed the door behind him and she heard the tell tale click of a pick and the lock reengaged.

Kagome let out a long breath and sat both hands on the floor. The cel phone was just out of reach. And even if it weren't who would she call? _Mama?_

No, that was out of the question. Not only did her mother not know she was a bounty hunter….yet, Kagome did not relish explaining just how she ended up practically naked and handcuffed.

_Sango?_ No, her friend was out of town. _Shit, shit, shit._

Besides she needed to call someone who could get in the door without a key or breaking the window. Kagome couldn't afford to have the glass replaced if it were shattered and she saw her key lying uselessly on the counter mere feet away.

A proud voice broke into her thoughts '_Babe when ya need a job done right, ya gotta call the wolf.'_

Could she call Koga? He'd be able to get into the apartment. And he would have some understanding of what happened to her. She fought to find any other solution but none came to mind. _Guess I could just stay here and starve. How much longer do I have before they come to forcibly evict me? A week?_

Her stomach chose this inopportune time to growl. _Well there's always Myoga…._ The thought of being buck ass naked in front of her pervy half uncle was unbearable. _Uk._

_Okay so Koga it is._ Now all she had to do was reach the phone with her foot. Kagome gave the cuffs a test pull and wondered just how strong the bolts that held the heater to the wall really were.


	7. Calvary Call

_Chapter Seven Calvary Call _

After a long struggle Kagome pulled the heater loose from it's bolts and was able to reach the phone with her foot. She kicked it towards her body and within her reach. She'd never been so happy to hold a phone in her life. She quickly pulled up the directory and hit the green send button.

Koga answered on the second ring. "Yo."

Kagome swallowed and managed to squeak the words. "I kinda need your help. Can you come by my apartment?"

There was a pause then he asked in a serious tone. "Are you dead?"

Kagome winced. "No." A police siren erupted outside and flew by on the street in front of her apartment. She bitterly hoped they were in pursuit of a certain golden eyed hanyou.

"Is any part of you on fire?"

Kagome checked just to be sure, and answered, "No."

_Click._ Then there was nothing but dial tone.

She gritted her teeth and pressed redial. _Damn him! Why now?_

Koga answered on ring number one. "What?"

Kagome threw away her pride and resorted to begging. "Please don't hang up; this is an emergency I swear!" She squeezed her eyes shut refusing to cry. The siren faded in the distance and she realized it was ambulance. She knew it wasn't likely rushing to Inuyasha's aide. _Damn it._ Getting run over in the street seemed to be the least he could do after leaving her trussed up.

Koga sighed. "Okay, what?"

"I was kinda taken hostage."

He was skeptical. "Either you are a hostage or your not. It's kinda like being a little pregnant. There is no middle ground."

Kagome tried to explain, "Well he's gone but …"

Koga cut her off, demanding "Who's gone?"

Kagome closed her eyes. "Inuyasha."

Koga swore. "Damnation woman. What have you done?"

"He's handcuffed me to the radiator and I live here alone and have no way to get out." She pressed a finger to her temples. "And I have no idea where the keys are."

He clicked his tongue against his teeth. "And this can't wait until morning because…?"

_No you just didn't say that to me. _She sighed, "It's really cold in here and I'm kinda naked."

He gave no reply and she heard the tell tale click when he disconnected.

* * *

----

Fifteen minutes later the door knob to her apartment began to rattle. She watched the deadbolt slide, and then the door swung opened. Koga was leaning in the doorway wearing black boots, green army camouflage pants and a black t shirt. His hair hung loose down his back as opposed to it's usually style pulled back high on his head in a ponytail. Apparently wolf youaki thought themselves immune to the cold.

The fact her apartment had been broken into so effortlessly twice in one night was beyond alarming. She resolved to buy a security system before having the radio in the Mazda repaired. That was assuming the Mazda was still in one piece and not in a chop shop by now.

Kagome sat facing the heater and raised her arm to cover herself. Her arm was less than adequate and her cheeks burned in embarrassment.

Koga immediately spotted her and growled. "You lied to me."

Kagome's jaw dropped. "I did no such thing!"

He gave her an appraising look. "As long as you have underwear on, you're not naked."

She snapped. "Shut up and get over here and unlock these."

Koga threw back his head and laughed. "Don't worry Babe, the cavalry is here. What did you do to that poor hanyou?"

"What do you mean what did _I do to him_? Look what he did to me!" The handcuffs rattled as she shook them for emphasis.

Koga cocked his head. The sight of her nearly nude and chained to the heater was really extreme. He briefly wondered if Kagome had ever considered a career in porn, then decided that would be the wrong question to ask if he planned on freeing her. He explained his reasoning, "I know Inu, don't like Dog Breath, but I know him. He's not an unreasonable guy."

Kagome couldn't believe Koga was defending him and rolled her eyes. "I...borrowed his jeep."

"Really… Ya know I did notice it sitting across the street." He gave her a genuine smile and tossed her a bed sheet. "Well that was actually a great idea. Too bad you pulled it on a cop and had no back up."

Kagome wrapped her self in the sheet. "What do you mean?" _Was that a compliment?_

Koga pulled out his keychain and began searching through a massive key ring. "He's a cop and cops use traps like that all the time. He saw where the jeep was parked and broke in here to jump you. He's not stupid."

Kagome mentally gave herself a good swift kick. Why hadn't she thought of that?

Koga knelt beside her and took the handcuff in his hand. "He's miles above your average skip. We're gonna have to think out side of the box on this one." He slipped a tiny key into the slot and with one turn the cuffs popped open with a loud _click._

Koga took her wrist between his palms and rubbed them together in an attempt to get the blood moving again. Kagome flexed her elbow, grateful to be free of the handcuffs. Koga watched her closely. "He didn't…hurt you did he?" He _almost _felt guilty about all the thoughts he'd entertained at her expense…but not _that _guilty.

She was surprised by the gruff concern in his voice. Was this the same man she'd spoken to on the phone twenty minutes ago? Kagome glanced away refusing to meet his eyes. "Just my pride."

Koga took her chin in his hand and turned her face towards his. His dark eyes caught and held hers. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. He just wanted his keys and didn't believe me when I told him they weren't here."

Koga tested the air. "I can smell a hint of his blood. You must've gotten your licks in."

Kagome shook her head. "Nope but Bartles did."

"Who the hell is Bartles?"

She snapped her fingers and a tiny prickly body shot out from under the bed. The hedgehog sat beside her leg and allowed Kagome to scoop him up.

Koga took a step back, watching the creature's tiny nose wiggle as it sniffed the air. "What is that thing?"

_Why is it that the manliest of men are always afraid of little animals? "'_He's a hedgehog." Kagome scratched under Bartle's little white chin. He closed his eyes and huffed his soft approval.

Koga peered down at him with a new found respect. "That little guy took on Inuyasha?" The quills on the top of the hedgehog's head bristled at Koga. He laughed, "Hell of a buzz cut ya got there hedge."

Koga held Bartles close to her sheet covered chest. "Inuyasha threaten to 'pop' him if I didn't give up the keys. Then he picked him up and that's when things went down hill."

Koga commented, "Ah. That's not like Dog turd."

Kagome asked sarcastically, "What, handcuffing nude women to heaters."

He chuckled. "Nah, _that_ is totally like him. But threatening someone's pet? That's just strange."

Kagome nodded. "Well we've established that he _is_ creative." _That was the understatement of the year._

Koga's eyes fell down her bare legs. "Yeah he sure is." _And may the Gods bless him for it. _"But I meant he must be pretty desperate."

She gave him an odd look accusing him of stating the obvious. "Well yeah, he is on the run from the cops. How much more desperate can one guy get?"

Koga shook his head. "Oh believe you me; there are many levels of desperation. I think our boy here is running from more than just the cops. In fact I don't like you staying on this case."

Kagome narrowed her eyes. "Are you saying I should give up?" _Here we go again._

"Yes, that exactly what I'm saying. " The hard line of his jaw assured her, he wasn't kidding. "I'm sure Myoga has someone else you can trace. Leave this one alone. Let's just say I don't have a good feeling. There are much worse things then Inu that go bump in the night."

The phrase 'bump in the night' immediately brought a picture of Sesshomaru to mind and bile rose in her throat at the mere thought of giving up. Kagome refused to accept failure not when she'd already lost so much. "No, not after what he did. Now I don't care what it takes. He is coming in one way or the other." Kagome glared at him than asked. "Hey, you never asked where I live. How did you know?"

Koga shrugged. "What can I say? I'm a crafty mother." He gave a slow smile full of wicked insinuation.

"I can see that." Kagome narrowed her eyes at him, feeling truly naked and exposed even though she was tightly wrapped in her green Kmart bed sheet.

He gave her a full on wolf leer and lightly punched her in the arm. "I'm starting to like ya kid; this could be the beginning of a very entertaining partnership."

Kagome sighed as she stood by the frame of the Murphy bed. Koga retrieved the way ward mattress from the kitchen and dumped it unceremoniously onto the frame. She sat down and pulled her long dark hair back from her face. "I'm not feeling much like entertaining right now."

Koga sat on the small broken down couch directly across from the bed. He held his hands loosely between his knees. "Have things been rough Babe?"

She sat the hedgehog on the bed beside her. "Yeah, you could say that back in school _this_ wasn't how I envisioned my future turning out."

He shrugged. "You just never know what the world is going to throw at you." It was Koga's philosophy to be prepared for anything. Some days this meant having a spare pair of clean soaks and other days it was a silencer. On one occasion it was superglue, but that was one story he kept to himself.

Kagome agreed. "You can say that again. But you see why I can't give up on this…"

Koga propped his elbow up on his knee and leaned his chin on his knuckles. "Now that I can't see, why don't you enlighten me?"

Kagome gestured towards the empty apartment. "I'm on the verge of losing everything. I'm broke. I have one week before I'm evicted and I've run out of things to pawn. Also now it's just the freaking point!" She slammed her fist into the palm of her hand. "Who the hell does he think he is? He thinks I don't have what it takes…he's got another thing coming."

Koga nodded politely as though she hadn't been yelling. "I see and sadly those are all reason I can respect. I guess I could see the way to helping you… for a price."

Kagome saw his dark eyes flash, and combined with his pointy ears the effect was demonic. She groaned. "I'm sick of guys, you always want something."

Koga shrugged as if to say, 'Yeah so.' He didn't feel the need to deny the truth.

Kagome gave in. "Okay, what do you want?"

"Just one kiss." His request was so simple yet ridiculously complicated at the same time. And a lie, he wanted so much and none of it could ever come with even the hint of a commitment. His life wasn't one that he could share.

She was suspicious. "That's it?" _How stupid does he think I am? One kiss sounds like one potato chip. You start with just one and before you know it the bag is empty and lying on the floor at your feet._

Koga turn stretching his torso and shoulders. Kagome noted that muscles that moved nicely under the tight black shirt. He answered matter of factly, "Might as well get it out of the way, I work better when the tension's already broken."

Kagome was outraged. "What! Are you insinuating all women want you? Gods you are just as bad as Inuyasha!" She hadn't meant to say all of that.

"I insinuate nothing. I just think we if want a working relationship than we need to get a few things out of the way." He sounded as if he were scheduling a dental appointment or haircut.

Kagome dropped her eyes to the floor and huddled in her sheet. "Sorry but I'm not in the kissing mood."

Koga nodded, "That's fair, just so you know that it will happen. My money's on sooner as opposed to later."

Kagome just stared at him. _How very generous of you._ She wanted to tell him to go to hell, that'd she'd never lock lips with him. However the offer was comforting and appealing. In a way she did want to take him up on it. However she decided that when and if the kiss took place, it would be while she was fully dressed. "Whatever."

Koga grinned. "That's close enough for me. So what are your plans for tomorrow?"

Kagome counted her plans off on her fingers. "I'm sure as hell not giving up the Jeep. I'm forcing Myoga to get me a license and pay for it. I'm moving my car back here. Then there's target practice and oh yeah, making Inuyasha's life a living hell. And I mean HELL, all seven levels full Dante style."

Koga raised both brows. "Sounds like a plan." He checked his watch. It was expensive and looked to be military issue a la James Bond. "It's three am now. Meet me at the high school track at 8. I like to jog and you need the work out."

Kagome protested. "That's only five hours from now!"

"Yeah, if you want any sleep, then you'd better get cracking."

* * *

Notes: That's Dante's Devine Comedy Kagome is referring to. Also I didn't forget ya'll nor have I abandoned any story. I was just out doing the Thanksgiving thing. I think Iz is Bartleby's biggest fan, she's a shameless hussy.

I've updated the website and have added a sneak preview to a new project. I was in the holiday mood, thanks to all the time I just spent with my family and got to thinking... What would happen if Inuyasha were forced to share a family dinner with Sesshomaru? Check it out. hedgehogmadhatter dot com!


	8. Of Doughnuts & Bullets

_Chapter Eight: Of Doughnuts & Bullets_

Kagome slept a few hours on her couch and was rudely awakened when someone started tickling her neck with a strand of her own hair. She shoved the hand away.

"Go away. It's not time to get up…" She sighed and buried her face in her pillow.

"It's eight thirty, and you are half an hour late. If you insist on wasting my time then I want my gun back."

This declaration had her sitting straight up and _crack!_ She bumped heads with Koga who was leaning over her. Kagome rubbed the knot growing on her forehead and squinted at him through one eye. She'd slept in her contact lenses and her eyes were dry and sticky but she knew they were telling her the truth. Her apartment had been invaded yet one more time.

"So, ever heard of a doorbell?" Her tone was dry and very put out.

He shook his head. "Babe, yours is busted."

_Oh yeah…_ She'd forgotten. But then it wasn't as if he was offering to fix it. "Okay then, what about knocking."

Koga fished a black band from his pocket and began pulling his thick, long hair back. "Nah, knocking's so pedestrian."

Kagome ran her hands over her bed head. "That doesn't even make sense!" She squinted up at him in the bright light of her bare light bulbs. Something was amiss… She sat up from the couch holding the bed sheet up to her chin even though she was still fully dressed.

She realized what was different and asked, "Hey since when are your eyes blue?"

Koga blinked then shrugged. "They've always been blue."

Kagome thought back on the many times during the previous day she'd watch him openly ogle her. "No they were definitely brown." She stood up and stretched.

"Okay, I was wearing contacts." His confession was odd. Why was it such a big deal?

"Why?" Kagome began digging through her closet in search of suitable clothing to go jogging. Though she didn't know why she was bothering. She hated exercise and most likely was going to be doing more watching from the sidelines than actual running.

"I had thing yesterday and I needed to be incognito." He was being purposely mysterious. Kagome hoped it wasn't an attempt to make himself more attractive, because honestly it wasn't working. Right?

Kagome pointed out, "But you look the same as you did yesterday cept your eyes are blue."

Koga didn't bother explaining himself. He only offered, "I changed before I met you at the shooting range."

Koga pulled out a pair of sweat pants and a hooded long sleeved shirt. Koga leaned against the door and crossed his arms. "So? Whatcha waiting for?"

Kagome pointed to the tiny door off the minuscule kitchen. "I'm going to change."

He shrugged and played with the gold hoop in the top of his ear. "No need to do that. Change here. It'll be faster and ya ain't got much that I haven't already seen."

Kagome's face burned. How many guys had said this to her in the past twenty four hours? She stomped over to the bathroom. "I'll be out in a minute." Then she slammed the door.

Koga heard an odd noise and paced the room for it's source. He stopped over the hedgehog cage and heard it again, a low grumbling noise. He looked down and saw Bartleby stretched out on his side, eyes closed, his white belly moving up and down with each breath.

Koga called softly, "Kagome?"

She answered from behind the safety of the bathroom door, "Yeah?"

"Does your critter snore?"

She laughed, "Like a little freight train."

Koga shook his head. "You need a better guard dog. He'd sleep through the apocalypse."

He heard the smile her voice. "Yeah but that's part of his charm."

* * *

----

Jogging with Koga was the equivalent of dying and going to hell; except here Satan had a fine pair of legs even if he was an ass.

Koga turned his head as he passed Kagome for the second time. "You've got to keep up!"

She was on her third lap and was certain she was dying. She had to be, for that was the only explanation for why she felt so horrible. Kagome stopped to lean against the fence while she gasped for air. A sharp stitch in her side screamed.

Koga jogged past effortlessly his hair blowing behind him. "If you get off your ass and keep it up then you can still make a thirteen minute mile!"

"Really" muttered Kagome from between clenched teeth. "Ya don't say. But if I do that today then what'll be left for tomorrow."

Much to her disgust, Koga in his tiny shorts and pointy ears had caught every word. "Tomorrow is the ten minute mile."

Kagome pushed herself away from the fence refusing to give up. Of course her definition of not giving up was finishing the run, but not necessarily in thirteen minutes. The fact she had to drive past the doughnut store, with it's fresh doughnut sign lit up and warm windows fogging over in the cold morning air, to get to the track was criminal enough.

She pushed herself and made it through the fourth lap but it was the visions of doughnuts that motivated her. She had money from the sale of her table and was planning on stopping by the bakery come hell or high water.

Koga was waiting for her by the finish line. He clapped her on her back. "Babe, good work!" He checked his watch. "Just under twelve minutes too. Maybe tomorrow we should try for a nine minute mile."

Kagome was bent over with her hands on her knees. "You go without me. Really, it's okay." She lifted her head and was happy to note the Jeep was right where she'd left it in the parking lot. Of course where else could it have gone after all she had the keys and distributor cap right here.

A movement near the Jeep caught her eye. A man in gray was jostling the windows. "Koga…someone's messing with my ride." Well actually it wasn't _really _her ride, but who cared?

He followed her gaze and soon they were running to the Jeep. Koga, of course, got there first. Kagome was right behind him. A man in jeans and a gray jacket was trying to jimmy the Jeep's locks and he triggered the alarm. The Jeep erupted into a series of honks and flashing lights.

The man looked up and saw Koga. He threw down his crowbar and jumped the fence into the vacant back lot behind the track. Koga was on his heels and soon Kagome was alone in the lot.

She ran her hand down the driver's side door panel wincing at the scratched paint. _Someone_ was going to be very unhappy about that. Oh well, it wasn't like it was her fault.

She clicked the remote on the key ring and _Beep Beep!_ The Jeep fell silent. The cold air around her was motionless. Kagome felt eyes boring down on her and turned to see if she could locate their source.

A blue streak shot out from behind the white van beside the Jeep. Before Kagome was able to focus her eyes on whatever it was, she was knocked to the ground.

The car keys hit the pavement and she saw the distributor cap rolling under the van and out of her reach. The person who pushed her down lay across her chest keeping her from getting up. Kagome punched his back with her fists. As much as she hated to admit it, whoever just jumped her was wearing a wonderful sage and citrus cologne. "Who the hell are you?"

He rolled off of her and dragged her with him up under the Jeep. Kagome caught a glimpse of his face. "Damnit it is you!"

Inuyasha's face was turned towards her as he lay on the concrete next to her. "Yeah but then who'd ya think it was…Santa?"

Kagome hissed, "Did you miss the whole point of this deal? I'm supposed to be chasing you NOT the other way around. You really are the world's worst skip."

"What can I say wench? I like ya…alive. Watch." He pointed at the windows of the white van. Kagome heard a popping nose and saw the windows explode. "Shit!"

"Yeah you have a sniper on your ass." Inuyasha's tone was matter of fact and not at all comforting.

Kagome shook with terror and confusion. "But why? I'm only after you and you keep coming to me? Why the hell is that guy shooting at us?'

"To hell if I know." He gave a fast half-grin flashing a white pointed canine. "You're a crappy bounty hunter, who would be stupid enough to be afraid of you?"

Kagome jammed the sharp point of her elbow deep into his ribs earning a very satisfying howl on his part.

He gasped and jerked his head up narrowly missing striking it on the under side of his Jeep, "What the fuck is wrong with you Higurashi? I'm trying to help you here."

She shot back, "That was for last night and for following me today!"

Inuyasha growled back, "Of course I'm following you. You stole my fucking Jeep! What did you expect me to do? Send a hallmark greeting card, 'Please bitch. If you don't mind, I'd like my ride back."

Kagome watched a bullet bounce of the pavement only five feet from them. The gunshot was so real and shocking she forgot why she was mad at him. She held her breath. "Where the hell is he shooting from?"

Inuyasha forced her farther back under the Jeep, his long hair cushioned his head from the pavement. "The gym across the street has an upper story that's all office space. I think he's in one of those windows. It would give him easy access to where you were just standing. An easy target."

"Okay now how do we knock him out of there?" Kagome wished she hadn't left her cuffs and pepper spray in the Jeep. They weren't doing her any good sitting four feet over her head on the plush leather seats.

Inuyasha did something unexpected and took her hand in his, squeezing it gently. She felt his warm breath in her ear. "Stay here, I'm going after him."

Kagome nodded then added, "Okay but I'm keeping the Jeep."

She heard him mutter as he slid out from under the back of the Jeep. "Fucking A." His jeans made a scratching sound as he crawled. Kagome breathed in the smell of oil and exhaust. _Please hurry!_

She whispered almost as an afterthought, "Be careful."

"Ahh, I didn't know ya cared." was his muffled response. She saw his feet and knew he was standing.

Kagome felt the cold pavement under her chin and added. "Cause if anyone is going to kill you, I so want it to be me."

* * *

---

Notes: This chapter title reminds me of Vash. Ha!


	9. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

_Chapter Nine:_

_Chitty Chitty Bang Bang_

Kagome sat under the Jeep questioning the direction of her life, wondering just where everything had gone so wrong. _What am I doing here, hiding under a Jeep like a dog? _Even worse than the gunshots was the knowledge that if she survived, how was she going to explain this to her mother?

The gunshots temporarily ceased but it was too soon to credit this to Inuyasha. _What the hell is going on?_

The ground was cold, hard and dirty with grease and other unpleasant smells. _This sucks_. Kagome decided to test her luck. She pulled off her shoe and rolled it out from under the Jeep. It hadn't even come to a complete stop before it was riddled with four bullet holes.

_Okay…so he was right. This is so bad… Not only am I stuck under here with only one shoe, some asshole is still shooting at me_. She was pissed, she loved those sneakers and somehow she knew that bullet holes weren't something she could have repaired down at Al's shoe repair. She prayed that Inuyasha would find this guy and be quick about it.

Desperate for some kind of distraction Kagome began listing other jobs she be doing right now, the kind where no one would shoot at her. There was Hooters waitress, Hot Rod girl, shoe shiner, Mary Kay consultant, door to door vacuum salesperson, dog walker, or hell even an exotic dancer, why not after last night she should be used to being naked.

Kagome's stomach twisted and she knew that could never be an option. She'd eat Bartleby's kibble first. The sad thing was she wasn't too far from that now. _Oh hell, it doesn't matter. This is my new calling; I just need to learn the ropes…a bit or maybe a lot. _She'd be lucky if she didn't get killed.

Kagome studied the ground around the Jeep for signs of anyone walking by but there was nothing. She heard the rumble of passing traffic but no footsteps. Christ! What is taking that pea brained, dog eared idiot so long? _Knowing him, he's probably just ditched me._

Twenty minutes later, Kagome was still under the Jeep and staring dejectedly at her ruined shoe. Only her abject fear was keeping her from falling into a sound sleep. She was surprised how boring hiding from a gunman could be. _They don't show this part in the movies._ She made the mistake of lying near an ant pile and while they were interesting to watch she hoped they wouldn't decide to climb down her shirt or up her pant legs. Her arms began to itch and she couldn't tell if it was real or imagined. _Oh Gods, oh Gods, oh Gods … please don't let the ants get into my pants…wait, that was almost funny. _

A pair of pristine black high topped sneaker stepped into her line of vision. "So Babe is the view down there good or did you just need a nap?"

_Koga!_ Kagome hissed up to him. "Hey watch out! Someone was shooting at me. They might still be out here!"

He knelt down beside the Jeep and hung his head over the side. His pony tail almost brushed the asphalt, "Good one, guess I had that coming. Need help getting up?" Koga flashed a white grin.

She rolled her eyes at the sight of his fangs. _I'm so sick of these holier than thou yokai I could scream. _"I'm not kidding. There is or was a sniper! Don't you smell the gun powder or something?" Kagome's head began to pound and she pressed the pads of her index and middle finger to her temples. _Gods, I need a drink._

Koga explained,"I recognized the obvious scent of gunfire but it always smells that way over here. After sunset this is a nasty side of town." He sniffed and noticed she was right; the burnt gun powder was fresh.

Her arms ached from lying on the cold concrete parking lot. Kagome rubbed life back into them while checking for ant bites. She was afraid to lift her head too high lest she crack it against the undercarriage of the Jeep. "Check out my sneaker! And the white van…its windows were shot out."

Koga picked up the shoe and frowned. It was torn into two pieces from the gun fire. "Babe, this ain't cool." He wasn't afraid but he was uncomfortable and he didn't like it.

"Tell me about it." She grumbled. "If it weren't for Inuyasha they would've had me too."

"Inuyasha was here?" Koga decided to be sarcastically unhelpful, "You do know you are supposed to catch him right? I did go over that with you during our impromptu skip tracing 101 class yesterday."

"Shut the hell up stupid wolf and help me up." Kagome slid across the ground on her belly.

Koga laughed and offered her his hand. "Now that I can do."

He pulled her to her feet and Kagome began dusting herself off. Koga leaned against the Jeep on one elbow. "So where'd he go?"

"The sniper?" She'd just been wondering the same thing.

"No Dog Turd."

Kagome pointed to the gym across the street. "He thought the gunman was over there so he went to stop him."

Koga sighed and shook his head. "So that's what he told you before he ran off?"

She considered this, "But we've no proof he didn't actually help me. Besides did you catch that guy who had the crowbar?"

He nodded, "Of course I did." _Duh!_

Kagome pushed, "And?"

"And he was paid by some guy with long white hair fifty bucks to screw with the Jeep. He had no idea what was going on, he was a crack addict and they'd do anything for easy cash." Koga narrowed his eyes at her leaving no doubts as to who he thought the long haired individual was. It made sense after all whose Jeep had she stolen?

"But that doesn't make sense! There was gunfire!" Why would Inuyasha risk getting shot at if he sat the whole scene up? And didn't he save her? As much as she hated him and really wanted to wrap her fingers around his windpipe and squeeze, she was forced to admit he had saved her. Maybe Sesshomaru was to blame and not Inuyasha. _Ack! Baka ass!_ Why was she defending him in her head?

Koga commented dryly, "What doesn't make sense is why anyone would waste their time shooting at you. Babe, you're a crappy skip tracer."

Kagome look up at his serious expression and all the events of the past twenty four hours came crashing down on her shoulders. She broke down under the pressure and burst into quiet tears. Koga panicked at the sight of her sniffling. "It's not that bad…"

She glared at him and he knew he was so far from helping he'd been better of not saying anything at all. He, an ex mercenary though he'd never easily admit it, was upset by the sight of a woman's tears? When had he gone soft? "You'll get better; after all you have me to help you." _Why am I offering my time so freely?_

Koga stifled a grin, who knew maybe he'd just get lucky? He could do with some recreation and after last night he knew she was his type: curvy, naked and interesting.

Kagome shot back, "You're not very helpful!" She saw the light change in his eyes and knew what direction his thoughts had traveled.

He pointed a clawed forefinger at her chest. "That's not how you felt last night."

Kagome's eyes flashed and the stream of tears turned into a waterfall. Koga scratched his head. _Shit!_ What was he going to do with her now?

He thought quickly and remembered when he'd explored her apartment while she was still asleep, he'd noticed her tiny fridge was empty except for three cans of expired Slim Fast; _liquid chocolate chalk, the breakfast of champions._ "Let me make this up to ya. How about some breakfast on me?"

"Does this mean I get to throw eggs at you?" She asked softly with great hope. Scrambled, poached, fried or raw, she was dying to nail him point blank in the kisser.

Damn woman! Hasn't anyone explain the element of surprise to her? "No, but I'd be willing to grab some coffee and doughnuts." Koga offered, knowing she was serious about the eggs.

Kagome's pout was ruined by a loud growl from her belly. He leaned down and picked up the distributor cap and keys. "The stomach has spoken. Let's roll!"

* * *

The hot doughnuts were even better than she'd imagined. Of course their goodness was accentuated by the fact she'd come so very close to never having another doughnut ever again. She unabashedly licked the warm icing from her fingers while she pretended Koga wasn't watching her every movement. Much to her disgust he'd only ordered a cup of hot green tea.

When she asked what he had against the simple pleasure of hot, frosted, fried rings of dough, he'd answered, "The body is a temple, not a junkyard."

Kagome shrugged, "Life is too short to miss out on the good stuff."

Koga shrugged, "Yeah, but then your body is more of a thrift shop than a junk yard. You could use a doughnut or ten."

"Are you accusing me of being too skinny?" Kagome waited, and Koga realized he'd stumbled into the hostile territory of a woman's weight where there was no safe return.

"Nahh, but you've already subjected it to so much abusive junk food I don't think you could live without it. If you went off junk food cold turkey you'd die."

Kagome smiled, "Yeah, you're probably right."

He hid his great relief and continued "If you expect to make it in this field you are going to have to rethink your exercise and dietary habits."

She shot him a look chocked full of angry daggers, "Koga if you take my doughnuts away I might just have to shoot you."

Koga gave her a blank look then broke out into soft laughter, "The way you shoot I'm not worried."

Kagome bit into a fresh doughnut and decided to ignore that statement. There were only so many times she could get pissed off before 11 am.

"So Babe, what's the game plan?" Koga wondered if she was okay after her first experience of getting shot at. Not that being on the wrong end of a gun ever got easier with experience but the first time was always the hardest.

She sighed, "I guess I should check in with Myoga but I'd like to pick up my car. It's probably on the verge of being towed."

"So where's it at?"

Kagome spoke around a mouthful of sweet, fried dough. "Barney's Pawn and Tanning."

Koga frowned and shook his head, "What the hell were you doing out there?" He put up his hand. "Wait! On second thought I don't want to know."

* * *

They hid the Jeep behind a large gray dumpster on the back of a construction site. Koga drove a BMW X5 SUV. Like everything else he owned it was black and outfitted in plush leather. Kagome rode shotgun with him to the pawnshop.

Because it was still before noon the pawn shop was empty. Apparently the financially desperate and destitute like to sleep in. Kagome was insanely jealous.

The two toned 1985 323 Mazda stood unmolested perfectly parallel parked right where she'd left it yesterday. That should have been her first clue that something was terribly wrong.

Kagome pushed her key into the lock of the car door. She turned the key and heard the familiar click of the lock. It was followed by a suspicious _SNAP!_

Her first thought was that her key had just broken off in her lock. _Oh course it did, perfect ending to a perfect morning…_ She pulled the key back and that's when it happened.

The blast was so loud it'd be days before her ears stopped ringing.

An orange flash of hot fire erupted inside the car and the door flew open striking Kagome across the forehead. She was thrown backwards into the air by the sheer force of the blow.

The little two door car was a furnace of billowing flames. The heat was a living being whose fingers brushed Kagome's face as the rotten smell of burning plastic and rubber filled her nostrils.

The world flew around her in slow motion. The car shook as she struck the cold pavement. Kagome lay in the middle of the street on her back not quite sure how she'd gotten there.

The last thing to register in her head was the sounds of her windows exploding in the metal frame of the car doors. Powdered auto glass coated the ground around her in an iridescent sheen.

* * *

----

Notes: Sorry for the late update, I've messed up my shoulder somehow and I'm typing slowly these days but this too shall pass and soon things will get back to normal.


	10. Trumped

_Chapter Ten: Trumped_

Kagome was having the nicest dream. She'd just won the lottery and was on _The Apprentice_ telling Trump, "No Donald, _You're Fired!"_ It felt so good to be the one who did the firing as opposed the one who was always fired.

The veins in his face bulged and he made that face, where he pursed his lips in a half sneer, but his voice was all wrong. He sounded like…Seth Green? "And I'm gonna buy a stereo system with speakers SO loud it'll blow women's clothes off."

Kagome leaned forward across the board room table intent on explaining to _the_ _Donald_, it was impossible to afford such luxuries now that he was unemployed. Also she was planning on redecorating his gaudy penthouse apartment. Gold was so nouveau riche. She was thinking about some thing more French Provincial in dark blue.

Someone pulled on the elbow of her long sleeved shirt and pinched her elbow. She turned towards Carolyn who shook her blonde head. George too was oblivious to the intruder. The tug came again only harder. Kagome looked to her right and saw Inuyasha.

He was in a white, terry cloth, spa style bath robe, his long silver hair wound in pink curlers piled atop of his head. His furry ears stood at full attention. "Kagome!"

She sighed and asked in a whiney tone, "What? Can't you see I'm busy here?"

"Kagome, it's time to go. You can't stay here." He was frantic with worry as he stuck his face in hers. She saw he was wearing a green avocado facial mask and broke down into uncontrollable giggles. Inuyasha ignored her laughter and pulled on her arm, "It's time to go. You're coming with me."

Donald pounded his fist on the table and shouted abruptly, "You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!"

_Doors? Something about a door… car doors? _Kagome's head began to hurt. Inuyasha yanked her out of the plush leather executive chair. "You're coming with me _now!"_

Kagome stood. "I don't have to go anywhere with you."

He hissed and flashed his perfect white canines. "Wench, I've got to protect you. Or else it won't work."

_Why is he always calling me wench? _

She asked, "What won't work?" Then she was pissed, "I don't need your help. I can do this with out you!"

Inuyasha frowned. Then his robe melted away and fell to the ground. Sesshomaru stood in the puddle of white terry cloth. For some reason the floor was littered with bright red autumn leaves. He gave her a pointy grin, reminiscent of Batman's Joker. He dropped a deep bow; his hair fell past his shoulders in a rain of silver. "As you wish my lady."

He turned his face then looked up at her with a dark leer on his lips, "I shall make all your dreams come true." He was wearing his trusty black leather pants and was once again shirtless. The dried leaves with their curled edges crunched under his bare feet. Sesshomaru reached for her, his talons extended and Kagome jumped back.

She glanced over her shoulder hoping Donald would be a good sport about his termination and help her.

But where Donald should have been sitting was Oprah, the skinny version. She leaned back in the chair and propped her high heeled feet on the table that was now covered in piles of apple red leaves and pine straw.

Kagome waved at her and hissed, "Please, I love your show, help me!"

Oprah shook her well styled head and crossed her feet. Stedman stood behind her in the shadows frowning. She pointed a shiny red fingernail at Kagome. "Sorry girl, sometimes we learn more when we help ourselves."

Kagome whimpered back, "But I'm a member of your book club…"

Sesshomaru's black painted claws brushed the bare skin of her shoulders and Kagome shuddered. But it was shame that filled her not revulsion. His fingertips burned into her flesh promising dark passions that she found appealing. She turned her chin up to him and caught him studying her from beneath his silver eyelashes. He bent his head over hers; she held her breath and waited. The heat of his breath washed over her face.

An androgynous nasal voice cut in. "Sir, that TV is entirely too loud. If you will not turn it down, then you will be asked to leave."

Koga's voice answered, "Yeah, yeah." He mumbled, "Fascist nurse bitch."

"Sir, I heard that. Don't make me kick you out."

* * *

----

Kagome opened her eyes and they were burned by an intense yellow over head light. "What the heck?" Her throat was dry and her words came out as a hoarse whisper.

Seconds passed and Koga's face appeared over hers. "Babe! You're alive."

The nurse added, "She's just shook up we've been through this."

"Where am I?" Kagome slowly sat up and the nurse passed her a plastic cup of ice chips.

Koga advised, "Hey take it slow there. You've had a knock to the head."

She ignored him and pulled herself into a sitting position. The room swam slightly before her. "What the hell? I'm in the hospital!"

"Yeah that's what happens when you are blown five feet in the air by a car bomb. They bring you here. And guess what? They still serve green jello; it's like a mini vacation."

Kagome turned her head and heard the vertebrae in her neck pop. "No thanks, I hate lime jello. It's just so green and wobbly. It's not natural."

"Damn shames then, guess I'll have to eat it for you when it gets here."

She sighed, "How kind of you. Now let's go."

Koga pulled up a chair to the side of the hospital bed. "Go where?"

"My apartment I guess, anywhere!" Kagome began scouting the room for her clothes as she sucked on a handful of ice chips.

He shook his head. "Not an option. You've won an all expenses paid over night stay for observation."

"Am I okay?" It was so horrible she had to ask if she was okay, most normal people never needed a second opinion on such things.

"Yeah but you knocked your head and have stitches; eight on your arms and five more on the side of your neck. You were sleeping pretty heavily after the pain shot so they just want to watch you."

Kagome protested, "I cannot be here! I have no insurance. We've got to sneak out or something."

Koga stood and paced the small area in front of her bed. "Not gonna happen. You're just going to accept it. Medical bills are a grim reality but your health is more important. 'Sides, this was where I told the cops they could find you."

She groaned, "Oh Gods no! The police…"

He pulled out a tiny card from his pocket and tossed it into her lap. Kagome squinted at it. "What's that?"

"Your new skip tracing license. You'll need it when they ask why someone would want to blow you up."

She picked it up and studied the tiny print. "Is this real?"

"Almost, it'll do for now." _It'll have to._

Kagome's big dark eyes widened, "Am I going to be arrested?" Well on the bright side the jail wouldn't charge her a bill to stay there. And there was always the public defender.

He laughed so hard his chest shook with it. "Gods no, they just want to take your statement."

She felt stupid and slumped back against her pillows. "Oh. And what do I say?"

He shrugged, "The truth but for now, leave out the part about borrowing the Jeep."

She was outraged, "You expect me to lie!"

Koga looked up at the ceiling with an expression that said _Oh Gods, why me._ "Do you want to go to jail?"

Kagome bit her lip, "Not so much."

He turned back to face her, "The Inu brothers won't report it. Inuyasha can't as he is on the lam and all. Sesshomaru won't. He might try to kill you but he'd never call the cops."

"Do you think he's the one who shot at me and then rigged the Mazda?"

He shook his head, "Nah, too complicated for him. He's smart enough but as a powerful Taiyokai he prefers to do his business himself with his bare hands."

Kagome preferred not to think about Sesshomaru's hands, bare or otherwise. "He's the Taiyokai of the Inu family?" This was a revelation seeing how the only things he seemed to do was smoke weed, play in his band and threaten his half brother's life.

A soft rapping knock came at the door. Koga crossed his arms over his chest. "Come in."

The door swung open revealing Miroku in a blue police uniform.

Koga grinned and thought _jackpot!_ He held out his hand and Miroku shook it. Then they performed a complicated guy handshake that ended with them tapping fists.

Kagome was thrilled to see Miroku. They'd grown up together and she was practically his little sister. It also didn't hurt he was engaged to her best friend Sango for three years. She kept changing the wedding date but Miroku never lost hope,

Miroku asked Koga, "So is she gonna be okay?"

Kagome called out weakly, "Hello! I'm right here; shouldn't you be asking me that?"

Miroku nodded, "Yeah you're right, sorry Kagome." He looked back to Koga, "So?"

Kagome fumed while Koga answered, "She's got a nasty bump on her head and stitches on her arm and neck where they pulled out splinters of metal, but she should be released tomorrow Gods' willing cause she's the worst patient."

Kagome stuck out her tongue but none of the men noticed.

Miroku leaned over the narrow bed. "So… I hear you have a new career?"

She blushed and looked away. _Was there anything that happened in this pit of a town that went unnoticed? _"Yeah."

"Sango's gonna have a whole cow when she hears about this. And have you told your ma?" He blinked and waited for her answer.

"Not yet."

Koga added helpfully, "She'll know soon enough when the six o clock news comes on."

Kagome closed her eyes. _Great! Just great._ "Most of the other crap that goes on in this town is hushed up. Why would this make the news?"

Miroku replied, "Maybe it was the big boom, flashy lights and fire or the fact the explosion blew a mail box through Barney's front window.

Kagome winced. _Damn it! _Why couldn't the car have blown up in a nice Amish field? Why did it have to be down town in broad day light?

Miroku laughed, "Don't worry kiddo; I still owe you for writing my college term paper. I'll call her for you and tell her you're fine."

Kagome relaxed but her relief was premature. Miroku asked, "So the state law of Pennsylvania says to be a bounty hunter you gotta have a license so cough it up."

She picked up the laminated card from her lap and handed it to him. He opened his hand to accept it and she saw the large brown birthmark that graced the palm of his left hand. He held the license up to the bright light and groaned. "Kagome, this is good but not good enough."

Koga was studying the tiles on the floor while Kagome asked, "Miroku...please!"

"So you just expect me to turn a blind eye to this."

She whispered, "Not exactly a blind eye but maybe you could just advert your gaze for a week or two."

Miroku sighed and shook his head. He tossed the fake license on her lap, knowing full well how she'd come by it. "So, why is someone out to kill you?" He pulled out a pad of paper and a pencil nub.

"I don't know." She answered honestly.

"Who are you after?"

"Inuyasha."

Miroku's pencil tip broke on the paper, "Damn it! Now why the hell would you get involved in_ that _mess? Do you have death wish?"

Koga coughed into his fist barely disguising his laughter.

Miroku frowned, "This ain't a joke. She's gonna be killed."

Koga shrugged, "I've already been there with her. She doesn't seem to care."

Kagome decided it was time for a new subject. "Miroku, how well did you know Inuyasha?"

"Pretty good, we'd go out for drinks and we played pick up games of basketball after work."

She continued, "Do you think he shot the other cop?"

Miroku scratched his neck. "No, but you can never truly know someone. What matters is that his family is dangerous. You should find a nice drunk to bring in instead. The worst thing that could happen then is that he'll puke on you."

The preview for the six o clock news flashed across the muted screen of the tiny TV on the wall. Koga turned up the volume.

A perky blonde with helmet hair spoke rapidly into the camera. "Local unemployed woman Kagome Higurashi was injured when her car mysteriously exploded in front of Barney's Pawn and Tanning earlier today. The incident is still under investigation and the young woman has been hospitalized. More on this at six."

Koga turned off the TV and the anchor's fake smile faded to black. Kagome groaned, "Did they really have to mention I'm unemployed?"

Miroku pulled his cell phone from his jacket. "Guess I'd better call Mama Higurashi that is if the line isn't already tied up from everyone in town who also saw the breaking news." He stepped out in the hall.

Koga stood beside her in silence. Kagome asked rhetorically, "What do I do now?"

He gave it to her straight. "You should quit."

"I need the money so bad…" Kagome bit her lip.

Koga leaned against the wall. "The money is nice but I think you're in it for the revenge."

Kagome blinked at him, "Revenge?"

"You know for what he wrote on that bathroom stall."

She slid down under her bed covers and was tempted to pull them over her head. "Is there anyone who doesn't know about that?"

Koga laughed, "I don't think George W Bush knows yet but I could write him if you like.

She bit back, "Screw you wolf."

Miroku stepped back inside the room. "It's settled."

Kagome didn't trust him. "How?"

"I told her you are fine and that you'll be home for dinner tomorrow. She's making pot roast."

Kagome's stomach growled and she cursed it. Then she asked, "And?"

"I promised I bring you. It was the only way to get her off the phone."

Well it was better than calling her mom herself. "Thanks Miroku."

"Don't mention it Kags."

-----

Notes: I don't own any part of the Trump name (please God Donald it's just a small joke), Oprah or Seth Green (but I'd like to!) Donald was quoting random things from the 2003 movie The Italian Job.


	11. Turning Points

_Chapter Eleven Turning Points_

Kagome sat in the hospital bed contemplating a white plate of wobbly Day-Glo green Jello. Koga's pager had called him away before he could eat the funky, institutionalized gelatin and now the fascist nurse was back. She shooed Miroku away then insisted Kagome eat the Jello. Presently the two women were locked in a staring contest, a strange struggle for power over Kagome's right not to eat the trembling dessert.

A knock came at the door and Kagome was filled with hope that whoever was at the door would distract the jello obsessed nurse. And her prayers were answered…well sort of.

Myoga stood in the doorway looking very disappointed that the nurse bore a closer resemblance to a wilder beast than she did the stereotypical nurse on that ER show he watched religiously. He held a thick manila folder under one hairy arm and used his other arm to force his way into the cramped hospital room. His clothes were wrinkled as though he'd slept in them and his comb over was sticking out over his shiny bald scalp.

Nurse Ratchet, Ratchet being the name Kagome had given her, had a vice grip on his arm before he even crossed the threshold, "Sir visiting hours are over. You must leave."

Myoga was short but he was a man of some girth and he shoved the nurse aside with his belly. "Too bad toots, cause I'm staying."

She picked up the phone to dial security, "Only family is allowed in after hours!"

Kagome sighed and leaned back against the flat white pillow. She'd rather eat the nasty Jello than confess she was any relation to this horrible man. Thank God it was only by marriage. "Mam, it's okay. He's my uncle." _Toots? Who even uses that word anymore?_

Ratchet tapped the glass casing of her watch with one long plum colored finger nail. "Ten minutes then and that's it." She shut the door loudly behind her and Kagome was able to make out the sound of her white heels, not cloven hooves, clicking on the linoleum floor on the other side of the wall.

"So I don't suppose you're here because you're worried about me?" asked Kagome who knew better than to assume Myoga had any once of an unselfish motivation.

Myoga frowned and wondered why everyone always assumed the worst about him. It wasn't as if he'd stopped using deodorant, "Well I was but you seem to be a tough cookie."

He lifted his arm to toss her the folder than remembered he'd forgotten to even purchase antiperspirant, much less use it. He lowered his arm just to err on the side of caution. "I'm here because you left this at my office and I was in the neighborhood visiting an old friend." He gave the folder an underhanded toss and it landed on Kagome's lap.

She picked it up and a black and white mug shot slipped out. The photo depicted Inuyasha with his mouth open displaying the points of his canines, as if he were threatening the photographer. Not a flattering picture for a man who protested his guilt. More than likely he probably knew the mug shot officer and was still objecting his arrest.

Kagome looked back up at her uncle. "So is this old _friend_ recovering from a breast augmentation surgery?"

Myoga sat in the blue chair next to her bed and it squeaked under his short bulk. "I don't know what the hell you are talking about. But if you're gonna have a chance in hell of bringing this guy in you should read his file."

_Good point._ Kagome opened the file and was pleased to see a mini biography, copies of his arrest warrant, addresses of friends, relatives and the bond papers. Myoga had even tossed in an old report card. She gave it a fast glance and saw he'd been forced to repeat the tenth grade.

Myoga continued while she investigated the folder, "You know he shot the other cop in the back. The guy was completely unarmed so the force wants Inuyasha back something fierce. If you fuck this up I could lose the business." He waited for his words to sink in then added, "So I figured I'd drop by and see how you're doing."

Kagome nodded and continued flipping through the file. Myoga squirmed in his chair. "So girlie, how ya doing, anything new?"

She answered without looking up, "Not so much. But I do have his Jeep."

Myoga swallowed and seemed to age, the bags under his eyes were fast becoming carry on luggage. "His Jeep eh? I don't suppose you can forget the Jeep and find _him_ instead?"

"I'm working on it. But someone really doesn't want me to find him." She must be on to something because somebody really wanted her out of the picture. But who? After all she'd never admit it aloud but Inuyasha was right. She was a horrible skip tracer.

Myoga propped his dirty shoes up on the side of the clean hospital bed. "Well with his family he probably has all sorts of connections."

Kagome picked up his bio, "Says here he was assigned to the Force's special Gang unit. Isn't that odd considering his father ran the biggest organized crime family in this city? Kinda like letting the cat mind the goldfish bowl."

Myoga shrugged, "Maybe they thought being an insider might have given him an edge."

She shuffled the papers. "But this was an undercover assignment." It seemed ridiculous to have someone as well known as Inuyasha be a covert operative. Kagome began making notes on the hospital message pad she found on the bedside table. "Maybe his cover was blown and someone framed him. He would've been seen as a traitor to the family so it's possible."

Sesshomaru's face appeared in her head as the first obvious suspect. He was very open about his feelings towards his half brother. However he seemed to prefer a more hands on approach. Locking Inuyasha away in prison didn't fit his style; according to the rumors, jumping rope with someone's small intestine was more Sesshomaru's speed. Yet for all his posturing, Kagome never knew him to be personally involved in a violent crime. Maybe it was all that weed he smoked.

Myoga broke into her thoughts, "We aren't here to solve the crime, though personally until now I liked the guy. Just find him. Let the cops worry about a frame up."

He narrowed his bug eyes at Kagome who looked down at her hospital robe to make sure everything was covered. "You ain't getting soft on him are you?"

Kagome remembered how he handcuffed her to the heater than trussed up her apartment. "No. I just don't think this whole thing makes sense."

He pulled out a fat stogie from his jacket pocket; left it unlit and clenched it between his teeth "Just checking because after what he wrote about you in that bathroom stall, I figured you'd enjoy hauling him in."

Kagome groaned at the mention of the infamous graffiti and Myoga laughed as he puffed on the fat end of his cheap cigar, "What? You think I'm the only one in this family with sexcapades? Girlie you are loads more famous than I'll ever be."

"You don't even know what you're talking about." Kagome returned her attention to the file in front of her. It was over two inches thick; much thicker than when she'd last seen it, so Myoga had been holding out on her.

"Uncle, why are you really here?"

Myoga sniffed and said nothing. Then he blew his nose on his polyester sleeve and lifted his head. "I'll never be able to cash in on this bond and take his row-house. First of all it ain't worth the hundred grand bond that's out on it and even if it was I'll never get the house, not without getting killed. So I'm gonna lose the business and go under. You gotta find Inu or I'm through."

Kagome was surprised and terrified all at the same time. "So are you saying that I am your last hope?'

Myoga pressed his face into his oversized hands and for a moment sounded as though he might be shedding actual tears. "Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying."

"Surely you are exaggerating. It'll be bad but not _that _bad." She didn't know why she was comforting him when _she _was the one in the hospital bed.

"Yeah it will be and maybe even worse."

Kagome was skeptical, "Then why did you take on the bond if you knew it was so risky?"

Myoga blinked his blood shot eyes and Kagome noticed the stench of cheap bourbon on his clothes. "And say no to the Inu clan? I know the old man is gone and all but saying no didn't seem to be a healthy decision. I could've ended up with my feet out in concrete or my head on a platter. Besides I knew the kid, I didn't figure he'd split, but I should've known better. After all he could be the Taiyokai for all I know."

Kagome said, "He's not though. I spoke to Sesshomaru. He's got the markings. Not Inuyasha, he's clean." As much as it killed her to stand up for him, it was the truth.

Her uncle cut her a fast glance, "Well I guess you would know all about that guy's bare skin." Then he chortled, "but then so would most of Reading if the rumors are true." He was crying and cracking on her all at the same time.

Kagome glared at him. "Whatever. But doesn't the stripes and crescent moon on Sesshomaru mean that he's the head of the family now?"

He shrugged and hunched over in thought. He'd never had good posture and it only served to accentuate his hefty paunch. "Could be a tattoo, but its unlikely cause only an idiot with a death wish would agree to tattoo a fake taiyokai mark. So you talked to Sesshomaru huh?"

She nodded and felt the bump on her head with her fingertips. Damn thing only seemed to be growing. "Yeah, I went to the house."

"Really and you have all your limbs intact. He must like you. Get any dirt?" There was no denying it. Her uncle's mind lived in the gutter.

Kagome wondered how dangerous Sesshomaru really was. She'd approached him knowing he was an unsavory character but would he really kill an unarmed woman in broad daylight? "Yeah actually, he really hates Inuyasha and claims to want him dead. It's an old feud but he can't be serious."

Myoga asked, "And why's that?"

She pursed her lips, "Because he hasn't killed him yet and I know he's had ample opportunity. I think it's a sibling rivalry thing." She decided to leave out the part where she'd spoken to Inuyasha when he'd held her hostage in her apartment. There were just some things Myoga didn't need to know about.

He scoffed, "Yeah but those yokai aren't like us. He hates his brother because he's half human and probably will kill him if he can. He's just waiting for the perfect moment. So how'd he treat you?"

Kagome was tired and misunderstood the question. "Inuyasha?"

"I meant Sesshomaru but why, have you see our man Inu?" He leaned forward on the rickety chair in hopeful anticipation. A sighting of Inuyasha meant that he hadn't left town and that would be a world of good news for Myoga.

Opps, she'd let more slip than she'd meant to, Kagome was quick to lie, "No, of course not. Sesshomaru was rude but he wasn't violent." _Yet, course once he catches up to me in the Jeep that could all change._

Myoga commented, "So you ripped off Inu's Jeep. I know big bro wasn't too happy about that. Bet he was planning on keeping it for himself."

"I'll just bet he was. But it's too late to worry about that now." Kagome closed her eyes.

The cutting tone in Myoga's voice pried her heavy lids open. "You wanted this and I went along with it but you don't know."

"Don't know what?"

He whispered, "How dangerous that family is, way too much for you to get mixed up in. I never should've agreed to this. Your ma is so gonna shit a brick over this one."

"I grew up only a few streets over from them, remember? I know how bad they think they are but I doubt they really are paid killers." Kagome thought back to all the rumors, whispers and calls on the police scanner her grandmother Kaede listened to.

The Inu boy's escapades were infamous. Petty drugs, alcohol, ticket scalping, racing, fight clubs and good old fashioned extortion via protection money scams, they'd tried them all and gotten off each time because of their 'family' connections.

Myoga cleared his throat. "Well we are in this together as a family. That's what counts." He was hoping to tug at her heart strings but they were much shorter than he knew. Two attempts on a girl's life in one day tended to toughen her pity reserves.

Watching him trying to assuage his guilty conscious was the last straw. Kagome put the folder on her bedside tray. "I'll go over these later."

Nurse Ratchet appeared in the doorway. "Time's up!" She crossed her arms, tapped her white shoe against the tile floor and waited for him to vacate the room.

Myoga stood and pulled his the waist of his pants up. "Guess that's my cue." He put a thick hand on Kagome's shoulder. "Hang in there girlie and I'll see ya in the office tomorrow."

She nodded and watched Ratchet shut the door behind him. The nurse, whose real name was Hope, shut the blinds and left Kagome to sit in the blissful darkness.

* * *

--

Once Kagome was alone her mind wouldn't shut down and let her rest. Frantic thoughts beat against the inside of her skull. Whatever trouble Inuyasha was up to his ass in was much worse than just skipping bail. Now people were shooting at her and blowing up her crappy POS car.

What was the worst thing that could happen if she quit this gig?

She'd lose her apartment, her independence and what was left of her credit rating. She'd move back in with her mother into her old room. If she kept perusing Inuyasha she might end up dead. In fact she was certain of it. After all two attempts on her life in less than four hours, it was unlikely she live through another day. As she had no life insurance and poor Bartleby couldn't be left to face the cold, cruel world on his own; the decision was an obvious one.

_Screw this, I quit! _

Kagome pushed down a small tinge of guilt about Myoga going under. It wasn't her fault he made the bad decision to fund the Inu deal. He would've gone under even if she'd never asked him for a job.

She sunk down deep into the crisp hospital pillows. For someone who was a complete failure she was filled with…relief. Just the act of giving up was freeing. The fight didn't matter anymore. Her car was destroyed; most of her possessions were already pawned. She still had her hedgehog, clothing and her shoes. What more did a girl need?

* * *

---

High school senior year:

The door bell rang as she was sitting at the kitchen table trying to decipher her chemistry homework. Kagome opened the old front door and was surprised to see a boy standing on her brick stoop.

He lifted his golden eyes to hers and she recognized him instantly.

_Inuyasha._

His jeans were torn and his long shock of silver, hair shone against the old, cracked, black leather of his jacket that was the very definition of cool rebellion.

"Ka-go-mae right?" He sounded out her name as though it was the first time it'd passed his lips, though surely he knew her from school. He was in her gym class for Christ sakes and only lived maybe three streets over. The afternoon sun glinted off his long canines but that may have been only in her imagination.

"Yeah?" She leaned against the doorway feeling silly in her faded jean skirt and old New Kids on the Block, Hanging Tough tour t-shirt. The danger she'd longed to court a taste of had finally come knocking at her door and here she was wearing an old boy band T-shirt.

He popped a wad of chewing gum and his white furry ears twitched as he studied her face. Kagome's fingers itched to touch those ears. "I wanna use your phone."

"Umm what for?" It was a silly question but her mom would kill her if she came home and found a strange boy in the house.

"Well actually I'm going house to house taking a phone census… what the fuck do you think I need it for?"

She licked her bottom lip, "I meant is there some kind of emergency?"

His golden eyes flashed and he pulled his eyes away to her dad's faded garden gnome that guarded the front door. "That thing is so gay."

"Yeah it is but…is something wrong?" Kagome nervously wound a strand of hair around her finger, "do you need help?"

He sighed, "Nahh. The old man's in a rut and I need to call… our uncle. Can't do it at home. Saw you in the window and remembered we got a class together." He lifted a quizzical black eyebrow.

"Right?"

"We do, gym class, but you're never there." Kagome didn't know why she'd said that. She crossed her arms over her ridiculous t-shirt trying to appear smug and superior.

He laughed. "You're right. It sucks so I don't go. So can I come in already?"

She gave in. He was obviously in some kind of trouble and it was only one phone call. What could go wrong? "I guess so, but hurry up."

Kagome led him into her family's tiny town house kitchen and directed him to the lonely beige phone that hung on the wall next to the side by side fridge.

Inuyasha's call was short and contained so many expletives she was reminded how lucky she was to have a somewhat sane family life. Whoever he was speaking to it wasn't an uncle, at least not one he liked or needed help from.

Kagometurned her back to him and washed dishes pretending not to listen but like a car wreck it was impossible to miss. The boy's life was a living hell; now wonder he was always in trouble. She had to remind herself the 'boy' was two years older than her and more man than boy. In fact the longer she watched him as he leaned back against the wall in the tight t-shirt with one hand in the pocket of his torn jeans she felt an incurable case of bad boy syndrome taking full effect.

Finally the call was finished and he replaced the receiver with a clang. Inuyasha slumped against the fridge and sighed. Then he asked, "Got anything round here to drink?"

Before Kagome could offer him soda or tea he had the fridge open was pulling out a bottle of her father's Yuengling lager. He popped the cap off on her counter and drank deeply.

She protested, "No! You can't drink my dad's beer." Her heart sped up in her chest as she imagined the trouble she was heading for if they got caught. The possibility of getting busted was a surprising head rush.

"Shit, you really are a pussy aren't ya?" He watched her from the corner of a half closed eye as he once again tilted back the beer.

"I am not!" She knew she was but it still hurt to be accused of it out loud. This Kagome, the seventeen year old version didn't believe in taking risks. But wasn't letting this guy into her home a risk?

"Then prove it." He pulled out another beer and tossed it gingerly to Kagome who caught it. When it became obvious she didn't know how to open it he retrieved it and pulled off the cap with a key from his pocket. Inuyasha passed it back to Kagome. "Now drink."

As usual she did as instructed. The beer was lukewarm because her father had only placed it in the fridge an hour before leaving for the store. The warm, foamy bitter beer filled her mouth and she forced herself to swallow the vile liquid. _It's so horrible, what did anyone see in this stuff? _

Kagome made a face and Inuyasha laughed. "Don't like it huh? It's an acquired taste."

He pulled out a few more beers and stuffed them in the inner pockets of his jacket. Kagome resented his theft of the beer but didn't know how to protest. "Shouldn't you be going?"

He took one swaggering step towards her. "Not just yet; might need a few more of these first." He frowned then reached out and ran a rough fingertip down the bridge of her nose. "Hey, you're kinda pretty."

No boy had ever said such a thing to her before. She blushed and Inuyasha leaned in close then brushed his warm lips against hers in a fast chaste kiss. A heat Kagome wasn't familiar with trickled down her body filling her belly. She'd kissed other boys before but none of the other kisses had felt like this.

He kissed her again and she felt the sharp tips of his fangs brushing over the softness of her bottom lip. The sensations were completely new and instantly addictive. Suddenly it didn't matter so much that they were drinking her father's beer and breaking all the rules. His clawed fingertips skimmed her belly just under the hem of her shirt. All Kagome wanted now, was more.

She said nothing and when Inuyasha took her human hand in his pulling her towards the squeaky back door that led to the backyard she went willingly.

* * *

---

Notes:

Nurse Ratchet is a famous character from the Oscar winning movie and book One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest.


	12. It’s not Delivery, It’s DiGiorno!

_Chapter Twelve_

_It's not Delivery, It's DiGiorno!_

Kagome stood at the check out desk leaning over a stack of papers. The receptionist pointed to a line on the bottom of the first paper. "Sign here dear. It's your promise to pay whatever your insurance doesn't cover."

Bile rose in Kagome's throat. Of course she had no insurance and she had no idea where this woman had gotten the impression she did. But hey, they were going to let her leave so why question her good luck. So what if it took an extra month or four for her medical bills to catch up to her?

She signed her name across the line with a flourish of the pen and that was that. It was time to get the hell out. After thirty six hours of the hospital's hospitality she couldn't wait to walk out those doors or get wheeled out in the wheelchair as was the stupid rule.

For some reason she couldn't figure out Koga was no where to be found. Miroku had arrived in his stead. He'd wanted to take her to her parent's house but once she explained she was turning in her so called bounty hunter's 'license' he reluctantly agreed to drop her by her apartment.

"I'm still picking you up for dinner tonight. Your Ma's pot roast is famous!"

Kagome waved and shut the door the of his police cruiser behind her before dashing up her apartment steps out of the rain.

Her apartment was still a shambles; Inuyasha's handiwork was still in full force. Her heart jumped in her chest at the sight of the hedgehog cage. _'Oh my God! Poor Bartleby..._'

She peered into the cage and saw he was sleeping happily in a furry puddle. His tiny dish was full of fresh kibble and his litter box was clean.

_'Koga came back to feed and look after him.'_ After all the horrible things that had happened to her this one kind gesture was the light at the end of the tunnel. She sat down on the end of her Murphy bed and let everything settle in her head.

_'Oh well guess I'd better get packing, huh. I don't want the landlord going through my stuff.'_ Kagome surveyed her tiny studio apartment and realized she owned a lot of absolutely nothing. And if she expected to transport any of it she was going to need some boxes.

The Buy and Bag Grocery store a block over would no doubt let her have as many as she wished.

She paused in front of the bathroom mirror but it was pointless. There was still a bandage taped to the side of her head and her hair was beyond repair.

She pulled on an oversized sweat shirt then a red baseball cap. This would have to do for the time being.

Kagome locked her apartment door before she left, though she didn't know why she bothered. At this point she wouldn't be surprised to come home to find the entire Reading Fillies baseball team complete with Pete Rose Jr standing in her miniscule kitchen.

* * *

--- 

The rain had stopped and that was one small thing she had to be grateful for. The Jeep wasn't at her apartment so she'd been forced to walk.

Because it was the middle of the week and the average blue collar wouldn't get paid until Friday, the Buy and Bag was deserted.

Kagome grabbed a grocery cart and was turning towards the produce department when she noticed a sign.

_Night time help wanted. Reasonable pay with benefits. _

Kagome blinked. It was a sign from God.

She pulled an application free from the wall and decided to fill it out at the customer service counter. The produce manager Guido would throw in a good word for her, because they'd partied together back in high school.

She waved at the refund clerk. "How much do they pay?"

The tired woman frowned and answered in a bored tone. "If you make supervisor then it's $9.00 an hour.

Not great pay but she could make it on that… just barely.

And she had tons of experience with money and customer service which was something she couldn't claim in the bounty hunter department.

Kagome's hand flew over the paper as she filled out the application. She passed it to the woman who gave it a fast once over. "Humph… not bad. Guido will probably call you tomorrow when he gets in."

Hope rose in Kagome's chest. "Guido is the hiring manager?"

The woman nodded, "Yeah ever since last week."

Well damn! Now she knew she was as good as hired.

"Thanks Mam!" She waved and then danced off with her cart. Life wouldn't be perfect but it would be livable. She could borrow money from her parents to catch up on her rent and then… spend the rest of days working under Guido to catch up.

It would be hard but still better than getting blown up or shot at.

Kagome still had twenty bucks left over from pawing her coffee table. So to celebrate she decided to forgo the boxes and pick up some frozen pizza.

Bartles would be so happy to hear he didn't have to move in with her parents. He did so appreciate his privacy and his beauty rest. All twenty two hours a day of it.

She was in front of the frozen pizzas leaning wondering if Koga would still talk to her if she was a lowly supermarket cashier supervisor when someone slammed their cart into the side of hers.

She let the freezer door swing shut and turned to see who in the hell was out to get her now.

Kagome groaned as she lifted her heavy head and found herself gazing into a pair of brightly lit eyes.

Sesshomaru was leaning over the push bar of his cart glaring at her. Low slung white flare jeans graced his hips and he wore a thin black tee shirt that read in large white block print: _Oh go Fuck Yourself._

His golden eyes sparked and a leer of amusement perched on his lips. "Good afternoon bounty bitch. Lovely weather we're having."

Kagome looked into his cart, where only a case of Miller Natural Light and a six pack of toilet paper sat.

She asked in a cutting tone, "So what _do _you eat? Kittens, tin cans or random pieces of road kill?"

Sesshomaru didn't miss a beat and flashed his sharp canines, "Little girls just like you." He tapped his talons on the plastic kiddie seat in his cart.

Kagome's head began to hurt and she shot back, "Ya know today has sucked so bad, I'm not a bounty hunter any more. In fact I'm applying for a job here at Giant as a cashier. I'll get you the Jeep back tomorrow when I get it back. So just back off!"

She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back against the glass of the freezer case.

_  
_Sesshomaru frowned. "Lying bitch. If I don't get it back you will pay." He pushed the cart to the side of the aisle and stepped closer.

Kagome scoffed; after all it wasn't even his Jeep! "Yeah whatever… Hey have you gotten around to killing Inuyasha yet?"

Sesshomaru studied his Teva sandals as he grumbled, "No but soon."

Kagome turned to pluck a frozen California Pizza kitchen pizza from the freezer. Yokai or not, why was the man wearing flip flops in the dead of winter? "Damn it, there goes the highlight of my day."

He waited until she was facing him then licked his fangs and ran a talon down her bare arm, "I heard you might need a new place to stay."

She was wondering where he'd heard this when Sesshomaru paused and lifted a cool brow, "You could stay at my place…after all you already know where it is and you still have MY jeep."

Before she could stop herself she said, "It's Inuyasha's Jeep."

He shook his head, "He won't have much use for it where he's going and I'll give it a good home.

Kagome swallowed, "I'd give it to you now and all but I really don't know where it's at." This was only a half lie; she'd forgotten which dumpster it was parked behind.

Sesshomaru stuck his face in hers and she felt his warm breath on her lips. He snapped his fingers next to her ear. "Find it."

She pretended he wasn't scaring the living hell out of her and glanced away from him towards a stack of frozen burritos. "Do you think he's guilty?"

Sesshomaru ran a clawed finger around the collar of her sweat shirt. It was bulky and hid her figure but he didn't seem to mind. "Does it matter? And why the fuck do you care? You quit."

Kagome grinned nervously and gave a half shrug, "Good point. But I'm curious."

So was his finger because it edged past her collar and began exploring her collar bone. She wanted to slap him but was biding her time.

Sesshomaru sighed and swept his loose silver hair over his shoulder, "The half breed's a pussy. I don't think he could even kill you."

Well_ that_ was a comforting thought. Kagome stepped away from Sesshomaru but he only hooked his finger around her collar and followed her.

"Well why don't you help him? If you don't do something then maybe one of these guys on his ass well get to kill him and then where will you be?"

Sesshomaru leaned in and sniffed her hair, "Pissing on his grave."

Kagome groaned. "That's not my point. Do you want someone else to kill him?"

His lips brushed the skin on her neck. Kagome jumped and pushed him away. "Stop that!"

Sesshomaru growled low in his throat. "You're a bitch but your right. I wanted to be the one that kills him." Then he grinned, "But I'm not beyond letting someone else do my jail time."

Kagome narrowed her eyes, "Do you always get what you want."

He gave his cart full of cheap beer a pointed look. As though he'd drink that shit on purpose. "Yeah I do."

The he turned towards her and leered, "And you'd do well to remember that."

Kagome pushed her cart away in a huff. Screw him.

Sesshomaru stood watching her leave. He was almost disappointed to hear she was quitting. Oh well, if she worked here, he'd still come by and fuck with her.

* * *

--- 

The walk back to her apartment was a light one even though she was burdened down with a bag of frozen store brand pizzas. Once she'd gotten to the check out she realized she couldn't afford the brand name pizza and had to put it back. Thank goodness this time the pizza aisle was deserted.

Kagome hung the plastic bag on her arm as she dug out her keys to unlock her apartment door. But when she leaned against the door it fell open on it's own.

'_That damned wolf. Why couldn't he of just waited outside for me?'_ Perturbed she shoved open the door and found the apartment… clean.

'_What the hell?'_ Kagome took a tentative step inside and was met with the alluring smell of hot pizza.

A small movement caught her attention and she saw Inuyasha stretched out on her couch waiting for her while he drank a beer.

She spoke though gritted teeth, "What are _you_ doing here?"

Inuyasha yawned and stretched. "What, no hey thanks for picking up the pig sty?"

Kagome shot back, "It was fine before _you_ trashed it yesterday!" Had this been a cartoon steam would've been pouring from her ears.

He lifted a black brow and frowned, "Higurashi, that shit was two days ago. You sure they should've let you out of the hospital?"

Kagome tossed her frozen pizza on the counter. "Oh go sit on a broom stick."

Inuyasha winced, "Ouch. And after I saved your life too."

She glared at him. "As I recall you probably sat me up so you could get the Jeep back and the reason they were shooting at me was because of YOU!"

Her voice bounced off the close walls of the studio apartment and woke Bartleby who huffed in his cage.

Inuyasha sat up and stuck a finger in his ear. "Shit girl, can you be any louder? I don't think they quite heard you in New York City."

Kagome swung around and noticed her apartment now had a fresh lemony fragrance. Had he even mopped? "What the hell are you here for?"

Inuyasha stood and offered her his hand. "I'd like to call a truce."

She crossed her arms angrily over her chest, "Why would I make a deal with you?"

He grinned and pulled open the tiny door of her mini fridge. "Cause I come bearing gifts; cold beer and hot pizza."

He tapped her frozen pizza box with his claw, "That shit's not pizza, that's petrified cardboard."

Kagome cautiously approached the hot box of melted cheese and pepperoni. She opened it, pulled out a stringy hot slice and bit into it. Heaven.

Bartleby was excited by the scent of pizza so she paused by his cage and picked him up. She sat on her bed with him beside her, greedily munching on his own tiny piece of crust.

Inuyasha rolled his eyes, "That prickly rat is so spoiled." How could she be nice to the hedge rat and so mean to him? Course her pet had probably never left her naked and handcuffed to a heater.

She cut her eyes at him, "Shut up and get me a beer."

He dropped an exaggerated bow, "Pushy bitch, your wish is my command."

Kagome turned her neck and heard the vertebra pop. She wasn't going to miss all the stress of bounty hunting. "So I guess you are here for the Jeep?"

He tossed her a cold beer and sat on the miserable couch. "Yeah, you could say that."

She shrugged and twisted off the beer cap, "I'm sorry but I haven't seen it since right before I was almost blown all to hell. As soon as I remember where we stashed it I'll let you know."

Inuyasha was surprised, "I expected more of a fight from you then this."

Kagome smiled, "Yeah well I quit. Sorry to disappoint you."

He shook his silver head in disbelief, "Really? Stop fucking with me."

"I'm getting a nice safe, boring, normal job at the Buy and Bag. You can have the damn Jeep back. I'll get the keys from Koga tomorrow." Kagome held the brown glass beer bottle to her lips.

Inuyasha frowned flashing the tips of his canines, "Oh God no! Tell me that stinking wolf doesn't have my keys…"

A smug smile graced Kagome's lips, "Yeah well he does."

Inuyasha took a deep breath, "Well you need a ride so I guess ya get to keep the Jeep a bit longer."

She nearly dropped her beer, "What?"

He sighed, "You can't give up on this, because you're part of it."

Kagome sat her pizza slice down on a paper towel and didn't notice when Bartleby decided to help himself to it. "Huh?"

Inuyasha cut to the chase and asked, "Ever hear of the Shikon no Tama?"

She blinked, "Hello! The bond office's name is Shikon Bond and Bail so what do you think?"

He took another swig of beer, "Yeah but do you know what the Shikon no Tama is?"

She leaned back and wondered where this was going. "Some famous mythical rock thingy, it's also a famous diamond right?"

He pointed at her with his forefinger, "Yeah and it turns out back in the day say two hundred years ago your family protected it."

Kagome frowned deep in thought,"Grandma Kaede's mentioned that…"

"Well the thing has magic. And some powerful people believe it's the same rock from the myth." He watched as the hedgehog pulled on a string of mozzarella from the pizza under the nose of his oblivious owner.

Kagome still didn't see what any of this had to do with her, "So?"

He wondered how she got to be so dense. Back in school she'd such good grades. Wait. Why the hell did he even remember that? "So they plan on stealing it."

She touched the bandage under her hat. The day just was going to get worse. "And that has what to do with you?"

Inuyasha leaned forward and spat in a bitter tone, "I was this close to busting them when they figured out I was on to them. Then they tried to kill me but accidentally killed my partner instead. So they framed me for his death."

Kagome hadn't known the man who died was his partner. "But why do they want me? Aren't I helping them by chasing you?"

He gave a cold laugh, "Yeah but they don't know how much you suck at this and since your family has had a mystical connection to the stupid diamond in the past they think you are after them."

Kagome was getting damned sick of hearing how bad she was. "But as every one keeps pointing out I'm virtually harmless so what the hell is the big deal?"

Inuyasha explained, "Simple your family did a great job of protecting the diamond. The protectors were always female and trained from birth for the job. Like ninjas but hotter."

Kagome bit her lip; he would hear the words female ninja and immediately think of sex. "And they think I am one of these women?"

Inuyasha answered with his mouth full of pizza, "Bingo"

She was exasperated, "So why don't we just take out a full page ad in the Reading Eagle paper that says 'Kagome Higurashi is NOT a super ninja and doesn't give a rats ass about the Shikon no Tama so please don't kill her'?"

Inuyasha waved a dismissive hand and watched the plump hedgehog roll across the now naked pizza slice in unadulterated spiky joy. "It'd be a waste of perfectly good grocery money cause they'd just think it was a ruse."

Kagome sat down and hold her head in her hands. "Freaking hell! I just can't win can I?"

He almost felt bad for her and offered, "I'm staying here so it's not like you'll be alone."

She sneered, "You mean you're hiding out here and keeping me hostage. That doesn't strike me as particularly helpful."

Inuyasha shrugged, "Call it what you want but I'm staying. I mean it's as all hell cold outside!" He was right, one look out the window and she saw a light rain of snow flurries.

Kagome ignored the bad weather and huffed "Well I sure as hell won't be keeping you warm. I haven't forgotten about the night before last."

He lifted a brow and confessed more to himself than to her. "Neither have I…" He clutched his hands around his beer.

She didn't like the tone of his voice. "Don't make me shoot you."

Inuyasha waved his open hand in the air. "With what, the unloaded gun you hid in the cookie jar?"

How the hell did he know that's where she kept it? Oh yeah, he'd torn her apartment apart! Kagome yelled, "Screw you! And you know what? I hope those guys get you."

He shook his head, "Seeing how I'm the only thing standing between you and them, I'd rethink that if I were you." It was funny how she really didn't think she needed his help

Kagome shot back, "There's always Koga, _he_ bought me doughnuts." Her lips spread in a superior smile.

Inu scoffed, "Just doughnuts? Wench I bought you beer and in rock, paper, scissors of the food world, beer always kick doughnut ass.

Kagome looked down and found half a scrap of pizza crust and a hedgehog covered in dripping pizza sauce. She frowned and picked Bartleby up by the scruff of his neck, "What the hell did you do?"

Inuyasha drowned his laughter in a fresh beer. The wench was as always, priceless.

* * *

-- 

Notes:

I am sorry for the late update. I have not abandoned any of my stories but the slow updates cannot be helped. As you can see this fic has a lot of good stuff going on. So stay tuned and I'll probably have something to add in a week. Thanks!

Okay I have to say it: Go TEAM USA and good luck to everyone at the Winter Olympics.

The Chinese and Russian figure skaters blew me away. And the US team made history with some kind of triple toss thingy. So if you aren't watching just think of what you are missing. Yeah that's right, hot guys in tight outfits. Of course if you are too busy reading my stuff to watch well then…that's understandable. LOL!


	13. Son of a Preacher Man

_Okay it's been awhile (two or three months) since the last update so here is a brief refresher._

_A/N: Kagome is a JR bounty hunter after Inuyasha who is a police officer on the run accused of gunning down his own partner._

_Inuyasha broke into her apartment bearing pizza and beer then claimed he was after a group of thieves bent on stealing the Shikon Jewel and that these same thieves want Kagome dead. So Kagome's stuck with Inuyasha and all she wants to do is pay her bills, not lose her apartment and get a normal job at the local Buy and Bag. What's a girl to do?_

**Disclaimer: I own none of the anime characters in this chapter.

* * *

**

_**Chapter Thirteen**_

_**Son of a Preacher Man**_

Kagome gave Bartleby an impromptu scrubbing in the bathroom sink. His furry body wriggled under the water as he struggled to break away from the hated bath, his tiny brown nose poking out of the thick soap bubbles like the periscope of a prickly submarine. Inuyasha leaned against the door frame watching as the tomato based pizza sauce turned the water a sinister, rusty shade of red.

His mind wandered from the silly pet bath to his partner Nicholas Wolfwood, whose life blood had emptied onto the concrete floor at Inuyasha's feet less than three weeks ago. He'd replayed those final moments in his head almost every hour since convinced there was some small detail he missed that could've saved Wolfwood's life. But it was a waste of time to dwell on the loss of a good man. All he could do now is get his claws on the men who killed him.

Wolfwood was a man of the cloth, or at least he'd talked about leaving the force for seminary, but he'd never been above what he referred to as _appropriate violence_. Inuyasha's hand clenched in to a quick fist by his side, the tips of his claws pressing into the sensitive skin of his palm. An eye for an eye, or a broken back or lifetime behind bars… it didn't matter how it ended as long as they paid for murdering his friend.

Kagome gave Bartles one last rinse of warm water then wrapped him in a white terrycloth bath towel.

She was speaking to the hedgehog in insipid baby talk when Inuyasha turned away, stomped through the living room and out her front door.

She knew too much to hope that he was actually gone. She dried the damp hedgehog before placing him in his hedge-house then went after Inuyasha.

When she peered around the front door she found him leaning on the terrace rail looking out into the dusk. His head was down, his long hair brushing the knuckles of his hands.

Kagome's heart pulled a bit at the sight then she remembered how he'd stripped her and left her handcuffed to the radiator. She was glad he was suffering, hell maybe she should give him a good shove off her balcony and help him along the path to even _more _pain. Even though he'd come baring pizza and beer, he was still holding her hostage. Well practically anyway… right?

She lifted her hands and took a step towards him but before she could act out her fantasy he spun around to face her.

Inuyasha frowned at her baring the tips of his fangs. "What the fuck! Damn, woman you're gonna kill me yet."

Kagome crossed her arms in a defensive posture. "And that would be a bad thing because?"

He groaned and rolled his eyes. "Well because first of all, I am the only thing standing between you and a nasty end and secondly, I'm not beyond kicking your boney ass!"

Kagome's guts turned as she realized he'd had a good look at her so called boney ass, but she forced a bored expression. "Yeah, yeah, you're such a badass. That's why you're hiding out here with me."

He tossed his silver head and glanced away. "Keh, you got some kind of death wish."

She shrugged, "Well as I see it, I have nothing left to lose."

He watched her trudge back into the cramped studio apartment. _Stupid Wench, _couldn't she see she had everything left to lose. Inuyasha wasn't an expert on much but now he knew there was always something lower than rock bottom.

* * *

--

Kagome took advantage of her captor's outdoor mope fest to grab a fast shower and a change of clothes. She was pissed that he had the nerve to return to the scene of the crime but no matter. Soon Miroku would pull up and then Inuyasha would get his just deserts.

She was pulling a brush through her long black hair, taking care to avoid the bandage on her head, when Inuyasha peered in through the doorway. "What the fuck is Miroku doing here?"

She kept her back to him so he wouldn't see the slow smile that crossed her face. "Oh that? He's coming to pick me up. My mom invited him to dinner."

Kagome turned to face Inuyasha unable to conceal the smug smile perched on her lips. "It must've slipped my mind… I'm _so _sorry."

Inuyasha's palm smacked against his forehead. "Oh fuck!" His eyes darted around the room briefly then he plopped down on her couch, visibly relaxed.

Kagome's heart sank, this couldn't be good.

Miroku honked the cruiser horn and Kagome picked up her purse. "Well then I guess I'll be seeing ya…" Then she stoked her confidence and shot Inuyasha a burning look. "Don't be here when I get back."

Inuyasha picked up a back issue of Cosmopolitan and began leisurely turning its pages.

Outraged Kagome stomped her foot. "I'm turning you in. Don't you care?"

He pretended to read but was quick to turn the page when he found himself faced with an article about women who were attracted to their gynecologist. Nasty!

Damn… was this the crap women were always reading?

He tossed the offensive magazine to the floor. "So go. I'll be here when you get back."

Kagome shook her head, "Oh no you won't. And what makes you think I'm even coming back?"

A cocky grin crossed his face, "Easy… Cause I've got the spiked rat."

Kagome frowned, "No you don't. Bartles would never let you touch him." Did he even have enough time to snatch the hedgehog when she had her back to him brushing her hair?

Inuyasha sat up and she saw her tiny pet curled in a sleepy ball resting in the crook of his arm. She gasped and growled, "You bastard!"

He laughed, "I've been called worse. Don't be gone too long; I'd hate to run out of pizza." Bartleby lifted his head and gave a huge yawn flashing his long pink tongue and tiny canines.

Kagome was speechless. What kind of monster holds a pet hostage? Oh why was she even asking?

After stripping her, it was obvious he was capable of anything. She snatched her coat and a hat from the bed than slammed the door behind her. Surely he wouldn't hurt an innocent, helpless animal… right?

As her feet pounded down the wooden steps she decided it was best to keep Miroku out of this… for now, just to be on the safe side.

* * *

---

Ayumi Higurashi wanted so little from this life.

She wanted to die debt free. She wanted her husband to stop fighting with her mother and she wanted her only daughter Kagome to wise up and settle down.

But nothing ever went as planned and tonight's pot roast dinner was just another example. She shook her head as Kagome sat beside Miroku without so much as offering to help sit the table.

Miroku was a good man; Ayumi had known him since he was twelve. She'd be thrilled if Kagome bagged him but sadly everyone in the neighborhood knew he was stuck on that uptight Sango.

So while she was always glad to see him, having him here for dinner was a complete waste of time. She shook her head as she set a pitcher of milk on the table next to the loaf of Wonder bread.

Kaede slumped happily in her chair chewing on a piece of white bread. Every minute or so Ayumi caught her wiggling her thick grey eyebrows at the young police officer, yet further proof that things in this life never really change.

Ayumi waited until everyone was seated before making her move. She dropped the heavy cast iron Dutch oven in the center of the table. Bang! Everyone's plates rattled and even Miroku, a seasoned cop of eight years, was startled from his seat. "Jesus Kagome! What the hell's this business about you almost getting blown up?"

Kagome sat back down and gave a nervous cough. Her mother rarely cursed, unless she'd been hitting the wine bottle in the kitchen. Miroku nudged her under the table and she said slowly, "Yeah, that was just a misunderstanding…"

Her father dropped his fork and glared at her, "This bounty hunter crap… it's a joke right?"

Kagome fingered the hat she'd strategically placed over the bandage on her head. "Yeah it was. I'm getting a normal job, I swear. I just needed some cash you know how things have been and Myoga…"

Her father was on his feet glaring at Kaede, "That man is a waste of air! How are we even related to him?"

Kaede answered, "He's my half sister's step-brother by marriage."

He frowned and began counting on his fingers, "That doesn't even make sense!"

Ayumi interrupted, "I've never liked him."

Her husband spun to face her, "Never liked him? You had him over here last month for dinner… him and his silicone wife… what's her face!"

Ayumi shrugged and reached for her wine glass.

Kagome noticed her father's thinning gray hair had spots of pink scalp peeking through as he leaned across the table pointing his fork at Kaede. "And speaking of unmentionable family members, when are you moving out?"

Kaede shrugged, "Maybe next month." Then she went back to her dinner.

Her son in law threw his hands helplessly up in the air; she'd been making the same promise for the past ten years. He knew even though he paid the mortgage, he had no real say over what went on in his own house.

Miroku sat non-plussed eating his carrots. It was practically a neighborhood tradition to invite people over to dinner then fight in front of them. In fact it made him a bit homesick.

Kagome's father tossed his napkin down then stopped next to her chair pausing just long enough to brush his lips over her forehead. "I'm glad you're okay, no more stunts alright?"

She didn't have a chance to answer him before he snatched up his plate and headed towards the kitchen. "I'm making a sandwich and going out back to the shop." 'Going out back to the shop' was code for _Ayumi your mother is driving me nuts_.

Miroku speared a piece of pot roast on his fork as the back door slammed. "Mrs. Higurashi, this is great."

Ayumi refilled her wine glass, how could she ever choose between her mother and husband? "Thank you."

Kaede studied Miroku then asked Kagome, "So… who'd Myoga sic you on?"

Kagome's eyes dropped to the full plate in front of her and she mumbled, "Inuyasha."

Ayumi shook her head, "I remember him back when you were in school. He grew up so hard." Kagome wondered if her mother would feel the same if she knew about the visit Inuyasha paid her back in high school.

Miroku said nothing but Kagome saw his eyes were shut briefly. Kaede, unfazed by the sensitivity of the topic asked, "Do you think he really shot his own partner?"

Miroku, still in his police blues, glanced down at his badge. "I didn't at first though the evidence was against him. It was his gun and his prints were all over it." He sighed and ran his hands over his stubby pony tail. "Plus there are two witnesses willing to testify in court. But I didn't think he could possibly be guilty until he skipped bail."

Kagome's throat went dry and she picked up her water glass. "What was his partner's name?" She was sure it was in the papers Myoga had given her but she hadn't found the time between being held hostage and attending family dinners to read them.

"Nicholas Wolfwood." The name rolled off his lips so easily she knew it never left his thoughts.

Ayumi, who hadn't quite recovered from Kagome's near death experience sighed, "His poor mother."

Miroku answered, "He grew up in the Philadelphia foster care system… I don't think he ever knew his parents. Last time we spoke he was taking a leave of absence to attend seminary school. He wanted to be a Chaplin. He was very involved in the community and stuff like that."

Kagome's breath caught in her throat. Inuyasha wasn't just accused of killing a man, but a religious cop and a humanitarian to boot. She muttered, "He probably visited the children's hospital ward on his days off…"

She didn't realize she'd spoken aloud until Miroku nodded, "As a matter of fact he did." He paused studying her face, "He was a good man, and you would've liked him."

Kagome had no intention of pursuing the matter but was still pressed to ask, "Were he and Inuyasha… close?"

Miroku shrugged and drained his milk glass, "As close as two foul mouthed, loner cops can be."

What the hell did that mean? Kagome tried again, "Were they friends?"

Miroku looked away to Kaede who was hanging on his every word. "I always thought so."

Ayumi reached for her wine glass, "Damn that Myoga. I always knew that man was a rat. Tomorrow I'm calling him." She was visibly upset over Kagome's involvement in the search for a man who could kill his own partner.

Kagome protested, "Mom, please… don't."

Kaede jumped in quoting Grease, her favorite movie. "He's worse than that; he's an amoeba on a flea on a rat."

Kaede had been a huge John Travolta fan ever since Saturday Night Fever came out in 1977. When she'd hung her Travolta poster on the back of the guest bedroom door after she arrived that was Mr. Higurashi's first inkling that his mother in law was staying a mite longer than a week.

Kagome took a bite of pot roast and chewed slowly. She'd long given up hope of trying to make any sense out of her life. By the end of the night with luck Inuyasha would be spending a rent free night on a cot courtesy of the county jailer and Bartleby would be enjoying a piece of left over Yankee Pot roast.

Ayumi was eager for a change of subject so she turned to Miroku, "Have you and Sango set a date for the wedding?"

Kagome knew Sango had refused to set a date ever since Miroku flashed a black velvet box under her nose well over a year ago. Miroku shrugged, "Not yet but we did have some pictures made at Roland's photography. I was kinda thinking we could use them in our engagement announcement in the Reading Eagle."

Because she had an official best friend status with Sango, Kagome knew how unlikely _that_ was, but it seemed best to keep her lips sealed.

Ayumi smiled tightly, "That's nice, do you have any of the pictures with you?"

Miroku pushed his chair back from the table, "Yeah in the squad car, I'll be back in a moment."

Suddenly the dining room walls were closing in and all Kagome wanted was out. She stood up, "Hey were they in that envelope on your dash?"

Miroku nodded, "yeah…"

She picked his keys from his hand, "I need some air… I'll get 'em for you."

He seemed uncertain, "Well if that's what you want…"

Kagome paused in the doorway. "Yeah I'll just be a second."

She stepped into to foyer; perhaps her father was far wiser than anyone ever knew. Maybe she'd finish dinner with him in the shop; but she knew her mother and grandmother would never stand for it.

She pushed open the front door and walked out onto the front porch. Sesshomaru was leaning against the lamp post in front of the house, an unfiltered Marlboro clenched in his teeth and even though it was freezing out he was still wearing sandals.

Kagome had expected to find some member of the Inu family lurking, just not this one. "So you've stooped to stalking now? Aren't you missing American Idol or something?"

Sesshomaru cut a golden eye at her, "You lied to me."

Kagome shut the door behind her, "About what?"

"You're hiding Inuyasha." The accusation was almost painful, as if she'd help _that_ man.

Kagome pushed her hair back from her face, "Yeah that's so it…" Then she gave into her pent up rage, "Do you know what he did to me! I hate that asshole."

Sesshomaru took a step towards her and ran a claw through her hair; Kagome ducked her head trying to back out of his reach. "I don't but I have a feeling it's amusing as all hell."

Kagome blushed a deep red, "Umm… actually it's not. And no I'm not hiding _him!_"

He stepped into her side and pressed his nose to her neck, breathing deeply, "Then why do you reek of him?"

Kagome planted both hands on his chest and shoved him back. "Step off! We had an encounter earlier but don't worry… you're still getting the Jeep back."

Sesshomaru circled her like an eagle on a dove, his hands never leaving her shoulders. "I've changed my mind."

Kagome swallowed, "You don't want the Jeep?"

He gave a low laugh, "Oh I'll get the Jeep… but I want Inuyasha first."

Oh for fuck sakes! Why had he changed his mind? Kagome bit her lip, did it EVER end? She narrowed her eyes at Sesshomaru. "And I should help you because?"

He ran the claw of his right thumb over her lower lip. "It may substantially increase your life expectancy."

Her head began to pound and Kagome pulled her hat down over her face. Oh why not let him kill her? It wasn't as though she had _that _much to live for. "I can't help you so get it over with and kill me already."

She lifted her chin and threw her arms back inviting the death blow. Before Sesshomaru had a chance to react the front door flew open.

Kaede's hunched plump body stood framed in the doorway. "Kagome, why don't you invite your friend in for some dinner."

Kagome shot Sesshomaru a death glare, "He's not hungry."

He growled low for Kagome's benefit then followed Kaede into the house. She stood outside watching the twisted taiyokai step over the threshold of her parent's house.

Ayumi was shocked when she saw her mother escorting Inu-Sesshomaru into her carefully decorated dining room.

Miroku frowned as he stood up, "What are you doing here?" He knew this was somehow Kagome's fault. The girl was a magnet.

Sesshomaru parted his lips and flashed the tips of his fangs, "Having dinner."

Kaede couldn't stop staring at his pointed ears. "Are your ears real?" Her arthritic hands were reaching out the touch the points on his ears.

Sesshomaru slowly turned to face her but before he could answer Miroku cut in, "Yeah I'm sure they are."

He checked his watch needing any excuse to cut the dinner short, "It's getting kind of late. Kagome did you need to help your mom with the dishes?"

The whole scene was so ludicrous it was all Kagome could do to keep from breaking down into unrestrained laughter.

Her back was to the window overlooking the street so when the glass shattered under a hail of erratic gun fire the only thing she saw was Miroku running at her as Kaede and Ayumi hit the floor and crawled under the table.

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_This chapter is dedicated to Charlie, all our thoughts and prayers are with you.

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_

**Notes:**

Okay I suck for my lack of updating. I know I do. And I'm sorry. It's just been one of those lifetimes. Actually, now that I think on it, it's all Iz's fault. Yeah that's it. Lazy hedgehog.

Yes this chapter is named after Dusty Springfield's 1969 song, _Son of a Preacher Man _it's been covered by everyone from Aretha Franklin to Janis Joplin.

Billy Ray was a preacher's son  
And when his daddy would visit he'd come along  
When they gathered around and started talkin'  
That's when Billy would take me walkin'  
Out through the back yard we'd go walkin'  
Then he'd look into my eyes  
Lord knows, to my surprise

The only one who could ever reach me  
Was the son of a preacher man  
The only boy who could ever teach me  
Was the son of a preacher man  
Yes he was, he was, ooh, yes he was

So was I really bad to borrow Wolfwood from Trigun? Probably but it's all in great fun. Can you imagine how much hell Inuyasha and Wolfwood could raise? Yeah the possibilities are endlessly wonderful. So this begs the question will there be anymore cross-overs?

Not likely but there might be a black cat.

… Okay I've come back and fixed a few minor mistakes, what can you expected when your editor is nocturnal?


	14. Stockholm Syndrome

Okay it's been awhile (two or three months) since the last update so here is a brief refresher. Thank you all for your continued readership. Look for updates on average one a week. I'll stick with Double or Nothing for while then switch to Head Over Heels.

Kagome is a JR bounty hunter after Inuyasha who is a police officer on the run accused of gunning down his own partner.

Inuyasha broke into her apartment bearing pizza and beer then claimed he was after a group of thieves bent on stealing the Shikon Jewel and that these same thieves want Kagome dead. So Kagome's stuck with Inuyasha and all she wants to do is pay her bills, not lose her apartment and get a normal job at the local Buy and Bag. What's a girl to do?

**Disclaimer: I own none of the anime characters in this chapter.**

**_Chapter Fourteen_**

**_Stockholm Syndrome_**

The large plate glass window shattered in a diamond haze.

Hails of bullets lodged into the plaster wall behind the dining room table.

Thunk! Thunk! Thunk!

Miroku knocked Kagome to the floor. Her heart pounded in her ears as he pressed her face into the old shag carpet.

She opened her eyes and saw her mother and grandmother huddled together under the table. The wall shook and pieces of popcorn ceiling filled the air.

The head of Ayumi's Precious Moments Sheppard figurine rolled on the floor past Kagome's elbow. It was almost prophetic.

Kagome turned away and spotted Sesshomaru's Teva sandals near the ruined window, his whole demeanor blasé as he looked outside. He'd merely stepped into the living room as though it was an annoying salesman at the window. Now he was trying to see who was firing.

Kagome muttered, "He's gonna get shot." But why should she care? He was a manipulative, psychotic monster and the world could use one less mob boss.

She didn't realize she'd spoken aloud until Miroku whispered, "He's saving our asses. Whoever's shooting at us will see him and piss themselves."

Only an idiot would declare war on the Inu family. But then someone was after Inuyasha so Kagome was stumped. While framing Inuyasha the half breed might be some gangster's idea of amusing, shooting at Sesshomaru the taiyokai boss was a death sentence.

Squealing tires cut into the heavy silence. Sesshomaru turned his back to the window, "They're gone."

Kaede and Ayumi climbed out from under the table while Sesshomaru sliced himself a generous helping of pot roast and drowned it in gravy.

Miroku pulled Kagome to her feet and straightened the hat concealing her bandage. He turned away and began barking into his walkie using police codes that might as well have been Greek.

Mr. Higurashi slammed the back door and burst into the room still carrying his roast beef sandwich, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph! What the hell was that? Is everyone okay?"

No one spoke. He opened his arms and Ayumi stepped into them. She pulled Kagome against her and immediately burst into tears.

Kaede feeling left out, turned and caught Sesshomaru in a tight embrace. He glanced down at the old woman wrapped around his lower chest and growled, "Get your hands off my ass."

Kaede cackled, "Agnes is gonna be jealous as all hell, I'd like to see her beat this! I can't wait for church."

She frowned then tilted her grey head back looking Sesshomaru directly in his golden narrowed eyes. "Pick up me for church tomorrow. We'll call it a date."

Kagome thought she saw him briefly glance down her grandmother's blouse.

Sesshomaru's eyes closed. "Fuck no."

* * *

--- 

Ten of Reading's finest stood around Ayumi's kitchen in full uniform taking statements, pictures and eating cake off antique china with clear plastic forks.

Kagome called Koga. Her fingers were shaky and it took five tries before she got his phone number right, then she was dropped into his voicemail.

She left him a fast message. His phone was off and while he was no boy scout, Koga wasn't the type to forget to charge his phone. Kagome slipped her cell back into her jeans pocket. She'd worry about Koga later. Come to think of it, did she really want to know why his phone was off? Probably not.

Sesshomaru, the roast, the remaining baked potatoes and a whole loaf of Wonder Bread all magically disappeared sometime before the cops arrived. No one seemed too upset by these events and Kagome certainly wasn't going to rock that boat.

Miroku found her sitting on the couch staring at a blank TV screen. "Hiya kiddo… you okay?"

Kagome hissed, "Yeah sure, this is only the third attempt on my life in as many days. I'm fan-fucking-tastic."

Miroku frowned, "Third?"

Kagome winced, "Ah… I mean two." She looked away and fingered the bandage still taped to the side of her head. It was easier to lie than explain.

Miroku sat down beside her and put an arm around her aching shoulders pulling her against him. "We're going to catch this bastard and make him pay. You don't have anything to worry about."

Kagome's gut clenched. "Who would want me dead bad enough to try this hard? I'm not a threat to anyone except Inuyasha." Not that anyone believed she could actually bring him in.

Miroku ran a hand through his hair, "I don't know. It's freaky. But I'm glad you quit, that has to make a difference."

He leaned back into the couch cushions taking Kagome with him. "If I had to hazard a guess, I'd say maybe Sesshomaru cares more for his little bro more than we first thought."

Kagome stifled an insane giggle then shook her head. "No. Sesshomaru wouldn't let his own guys shoot at him."

"Yeah but he was here so he already has the perfect alibi." Miroku frowned, "Why was he here anyway?"

She groaned and the thudding behind her eyes got louder. "God only knows why. He's taken a perverted interest in me."

Miroku nodded, "You stole Inu's Jeep didn't you?" He hoped that was Sesshomaru's motive, he was reluctant to foster any other notions.

Kagome nodded and Miroku rolled his eyes, "We've been tracking that vehicle for days. It was our one major link to the Inu family's activities and you had to heist it. Of all the cars in this city why'd you have to steal _that_ one?"

Kagome shot back, "Well I had no idea! What the hell!" Damn it! She was holding together as best she could but it was never enough.

Ayumi appeared in the doorway. "Kagome, would you like some cake?" In her family sugar, white flour, lard and frosting, were proven legitimate solutions to every problem. Tonight Kagome's stomach turned, forget the cake, she wanted a slug from her mom's secret stash in the pantry.

What if her mom had been shot? Where would they be now? Certainly not hosting a police officer cake and coffee social. Actually Ayumi was holding up remarkably well. Perhaps Kagome hadn't been giving her mother enough credit.

The stakes were climbing and Kagome pushed down the panic building inside her. She turned to Miroku, "Can you keep my family safe until…?"

Miroku scratched the back of his neck, "If you have somewhere else they can go, we can send a cruiser by to check on them every couple hours and give them a panic button."

She wanted more but she knew that unless Grandma Kaede knew where Hoffa was buried, which was a distinct possibility, then this was the best they could do.

Kagome glanced up and saw Ayumi placing a slice of cake on the coffee table. Her hands were shaking as she set the china down onto the glass tabletop. "Hey Mom, why don't you guys go visit Aunt Mia for a few days?"

Kaede peered around the doorway at the mention of her younger sister's name. "I'm not staying with that woman. She's a… tramp and a ho! She stole my prom date!"

Kagome knew immediately that her parents had reinstated the cable. MTV did wonders for Kaede's already colorful vocabulary.

Her father was duct taping a plastic sheet over the broken window. "That was over sixty years ago and the lucky man's been dead of cancer for nearly twenty. Mia's probably lonely… maybe you should move in with _her_!"

Kaede stomped her foot then huffed off to the kitchen.

Ayumi muttered, "It's like living with God damned teenagers!" Then she picked up the phone and dialed her Aunt.

* * *

--- 

It took a lot of convincing to get Miroku to drop her back at her apartment. Kagome argued her apartment was the once place where nothing had happened, at least not anything she was willing to admit.

After fifteen minutes of badgering and a threat to tell Sango about a certain strip club incident, Miroku relented. He gave her a tight hug, "Keep your cell phone charged and on."

Kagome climbed out of the car and watched him drive away. Her apartment's only window glowed with a soft light. She sprinted up the steps and was surprised when her key worked, Inuyasha hadn't set the deadbolt. Maybe her luck was changing and Koga was sitting on her bed with Inuyasha in cuffs and Bartleby safe in his hedgehouse.

She pushed open the door and saw the hanyou sprawled out across her bed watching her. Bartleby lay across his chest in a furry puddle, dead asleep. Kagome silently cursed the prickly traitor.

Inuyasha sat up and the hedgehog slid down his lap on to the mattress beside him. Bartleby glanced up at Kagome then yawned, obviously a victim of Stockholm syndrome.

Inuyasha's ear perked then he frowned, "Damnit wench! How could ya?"

Kagome dropped onto the couch exhausted and desperate for a beer. "How could I what?"

He jerked a claw tipped thumb at her. "You had good pot roast, with my bastard half brother and didn't bring me back diddley shit."

Her jaw dropped. "How did you…?"

Inuyasha scoffed. "Keh, I can smell it."

Of course he could. Between both Inu-yokai she would never have a moment's peace. Kagome's head fell back on the couch armrest. "Yeah well your brother also stole the leftovers."

Inuyasha was indignant. "Kagome! How could you let him steal my dinner?"

She hadn't promised him dinner and he _still _had pizza. As kidnappers went he was pushy and damned annoying. She closed her eyes, "I dunno, but after the drive by shooting we were all pretty distracted. He could've stolen Grandma and we wouldn't have noticed."

The floor rattled as he jumped to his feet. "Fuck! Is everyone…"

"They're fine." Kagome opened her eyes and found Inuyasha leaning over her intently studying her face, his bright golden eyes only inches from hers. "It's real isn't it? Those guys think I'm hiding that stupid jewel."

He pushed a strand of long black hair out of her face, and then began slowly winding it around his finger. "Yeah."

Kagome frowned. "But why kill me if they want me to give it to them? You'd think they'd wait to kill me until after they found it."

"They know you don't have it. They want to keep you from _finding_ it. The thing's powerful, they don't want to risk that you'll use it against them." His hand was cool on her sticky skin. Getting shot at was hell on her complexion.

She sighed, "How can I find something I'm not even looking for?"

Inuyasha's finger traced the round edge of her ear, "It'll find you. It's one of those destiny things."

Kagome knocked his hand away, "Don't give me that crap. You don't believe in destiny."

He stood and went to the kitchen for a beer. "I don't. But those assholes who framed me and want you dead, do. So I figure maybe it's important."

Kagome groaned, "What are we going to do?" It all seemed so stupid. She was caught up in a game she didn't even know she was playing.

Inuyasha tossed her a beer. Kagome fumbled the catch and the cold hard can struck her foot. He laughed when he saw her wince. Kagome comforted herself by remembering how his ass bounced off the hood of her mother's car and smacked on to the pavement.

The hanyou flopped down on the couch next to her feet. "Well tomorrow while we work on keeping you in one piece, maybe you can catch a skip or two."

Kagome sat up, "You want me out on the streets chasing after criminals in plain sight? Isn't that kinda dangerous right now?" Maybe if she was lucky a cartoon ACME anvil would fall from the sky and squash her flat. Then at least her death would be original and entertaining. "Yeah well your landlord also left a greeting card. Something about if he doesn't see some green in two days, you'll need to find a new home. So this'll give us something to do while we sort out this Shikon business." His voice was muffled as he dug through her cabinets looking for God only knew what.

Why was she so pissed? She knew this was coming, but hearing it from Inuyasha somehow made it worse. Kagome's lips thinned, "Why can't I just turn you in for the bounty?"

He appeared in the doorway smirking then saddled off towards Bartleby, his new best friend. "Wench… anytime you think you're man enough, come get me."

She smiled sweetly knowing he had to sleep sometime.

* * *

**Notes:**

This chapter is dedicated to Frimm, Cat and Tiger all who have put up with me these past two months.

Stockholm Syndrome is when captive start and identify with their captures to the point of loyalty despite the danger of the situation.

Many of you maybe aware that Dog Dwayne the Bounty Hunter is in some serious trouble. Since this is a bounty hunter fic it's only appropriate to say Free the Dog! Visit www dot freedogthebountyhunter dot com should you choose to support the Chapmans.

Sometimes Iz watches his show for... research purposes. Lol


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